Beautifully Broken
by Frayed at the Edges
Summary: Tommy left shortly after Jude's 18th birthday without a word to anyone...now 3 years later, as fate would have it, the two starcrossed lovers are reunited. Will it be something worthy of storybooks or be beautifully bittersweet? Read and Review! :D
1. Tumbling Down Memory Lane

Tommy sat numbly fingering the rim of the glass. Slowly he brought the glass to his lips, allowing the amber liquid to burn his throat while his mind wondered over that fateful day…the day he lost her.

It wasn't supposed to happen, the day was supposed to be perfect. Their love was supposed to be perfect. She had once told him her 17th birthday was the best ever when she spent it trapped with him, and this one was supposed to be so much better. He planned on making their love known to the world, letting them know one, and only one, woman held 'Little Tommy Q's' heart. She was against it at first, but he was going to do it anyways because he believed they would make it through anything thrown at them. Besides, he knew she could never stay mad at him for too long.

Or so he thought…

And after he confessed his undying love and devotion to her in front of the world, he arranged to whisk her away so they could make gentle, sweet love through out the night. He wanted to show her just how much she meant to him, how committed he was to her and only her…for the rest of his life.

But of course, fate held all the cards and refused to allow the dice to be rolled in Tommy's favor…

Tommy swore God himself must have had it in for him that night, wanting to keep him as far away from Jude as humanly possible…

Hunter…the main reason everything went sour in the first place. He decided to make an appearance and he threatened Tommy…threatened his Jude. The only person he practically lived and breathed for. Thus, Tommy had a slight change of heart, he decided to agree with Jude and not publicize their relationship…the rest of the evening could still go as he hoped right? The part that only required the two of them and the burning flames they held in their hearts for one another.

But then Jude had to go and be her impulsive self. Even after Tommy told her she was right, she went ahead and sang "Love to Burn," pointing him out in the crowd. With Hunter nearby, Tommy knew he had to whatever it took to keep her safe, so when her beautiful voice had faded and her piercing crystal blue eyes bore into his, waiting for his reply, he hurt her once again. Embarrassing her, making her look foolish.

Fortunately Jude had been able to recover fairly quickly, pulling her dad into the mix.

Unfortunately, it the worse had yet to come and it certainly wouldn't be the last time Tommy hurt her that evening…With the way things had been going, he should have known something bad would happen when Sadie moved in to kiss him. Lady Luck just didn't want to lend him a hand when Jude walked in his hotel room at the same time Sadie's lips pressed against his.

Seeing the pain in her eyes earlier had been rough, but now his own heart broke. He wasn't supposed to be kissing Sadie! He didn't even know it was going to happen. He hadn't kissed her back. The only girl he wanted to be kissing was Jude, but as he looked at her with regretful eyes she said one little word that continued to haunt his dreams,

"Over."

With that she left the room. Tommy chastised himself for not running after her, telling her how it truly wasn't his fault. He'd been drinking shots all night…and thought he was just lending a helpful ear when Sadie was talking; she made the move, not him. Yet he didn't. Instead he sat dumbfounded on the hotel bed; listen to the babbling of the woman who had just ruined it with the one he wanted to be with.

Tommy truly believed Sadie when she said she'd fix this. At least he prayed and hoped with all his might that Jude would forgive him and know all he wanted was her. But it never happened…

Jude wouldn't even listen to either of them; she wouldn't give them the chance to explain themselves. She was hurt, how could she not be? So she did the best thing she could to help heal her broken heart. She fired Tommy as her producer.

Of course Tommy knew there might have come a time when he hurt one time too many and it came that night…her 18th birthday. The night when all of their dreams were supposed to become reality, when they no longer had to hide all the passion and love they felt for one another. They could finally be open and honest, no more longing and no more hurting.

But that's obviously not how it turned out. So Tommy did the one thing he was good at…besides hurting those he cared for…he left. After Jude fired him, Darius sent him to New York to produce with the American G-Major branch.

"Like another one?" The hefty bartender asked, bringing Tommy out of his reverie.

Gulping slightly and looking at his reflection at the bottom of the empty glass, Tommy shook his head, "No, thanks Joe. I have to get going, early morning."

"Alright Tom, see ya later sometime." Joe smiled, watching Tommy stand off the stool and head for the door.

Tommy supplied a sad grin and nodded in reply before walking out into the crisp New York night air. Inhaling deeply, he headed for the parking lot, thinking back to her again. It had been three years since that night, and if you would have asked before that day if he ever saw himself where he was today, he would have called you crazy. He would of and could have never imagined himself without Jude.

Slowly getting into his car, Tommy looked up into the night sky, wistfully murmuring, "Happy 21st Girl."

"JUDE! Get down here ASAP! We have to get going!" Sadie called up the stairs at her younger sister.

Rolling her eyes, Jude stomped over to the door, "Geez, Sades! Calm down, I'll be down in one minute!" With that, she turned back to her drawers looking for the necklace she been scouring her room for. After checking every drawer, under her bed and her desk, she opted for the closet. Unable to see what was in the back of the shelf at the top, Jude's hand blindly hit objects in search of the bulky fashion statement, but instead she hit something else. It felt oddly like a notebook, but Jude couldn't remember throwing one up there.

Pulling it down out of curiosity, a soft gasp escaped her lips and the brown book tumbled to the floor, opening up to a page with a few words scribbled across. The pages tear stained, the words smeared. Jude looked at it in shock recalling the last time she had seen the notebook Tommy had given her. It had been right after he left for the last time…after they broke up. She ordered Speid to get rid of it, why was it in the back of her closet? Slowly bending over, she picked it up and read the last words she had ever written in it, her way of saying a final Goodbye to him, hoping that one day she could move on…

_It seems like yesterday, _

_That my world fell from the sky_

_It seems like yesterday,_

_I didn't know how hard I could cry_

_It feels like tomorrow_

_I may not get by_

_But I will try_

_I will try_

_Wipe the tears from my eyes_

_I'm Beautifully Broken_

_And I don't mind if you know it_

_I'm Beautifully Broken_

_And I don't care if I show it_

_Everyday is a new day, _

_I'm reminded of my past_

_Every time there's another storm,_

_I know that it won't last_

_Every moment I'm filled with hope_

_Cause I get another chance_

_But I will try_

_I will try_

_Got nothing left to hide_

_I'm Beautifully Broken_

_And I don't mind if you know it_

_I'm Beautifully Broken_

_And I don't care if I show it_

_Without the highs and the lows_

_Where will we go_

_Where will we gooo, ohoh, oh, oh_

_I'm Beautifully Broken_

_And I don't mind if you know it_

_I'm Beautifully Broken_

_And I don't care if I show it_

_Oh, oh, I am beautifully broken_

_I am beautifully broken_

_I'm Beautifully Broken_

_And I don't care if I show it…_


	2. Nothing Good About Goodbye

Jude stood still, gaping at the open pages while memories rushed into her mind. Feelings deeply buried resurfaced when she saw Tommy's handwriting in the front of the leather notebook. Her heart skipped a few beats, flipping pages and finding more and more reminders of what once was.

Sliding herself to the floor, her hand shook going page to page until something in the back binding caught her attention. The seam was coming undone, and underneath laid a hidden secret…

Ripping the rest of the seam, Jude was surprised when she discovered a worn photograph. How had she never noticed it before? She had used the leather notebook for awhile before Tommy left.

Carefully pulling out the photo, tears welled in her eyes, threatening to spill as she stared at the scene in front of her. Her eyes were glued on a moment frozen in time over four years ago…

"_Hmmmm," Tommy mumbled as Jude walked into the studio, "Last time I saw Saturday morning, it was still Friday night. You better have something good Harrison."_

_Throwing her coat off to the side and grinning broadly, she nodded, "Yeah. Actually I do. I have two parents tearing each other apart. A four month hiatus and now that you're corporate king of all music everywhere," taking a seat opposite him her happy grin quickly faded into a solemn smile she sighed before continuing, "No you."_

"_It's promotion," Tommy shrugged, "But you got me now. So, what do you wanna do?"_

"_Hmm," Jude thought momentarily. Leaning forward slightly she whispered, "I wanna scream."_

_Tommy smirked, "Booth's sound proof."_

_Taking that as her nod of approval, Jude was once again beaming as she stood from her stool and bounced slightly on the balls of her feet, shaking her hands and feet. "Ok," she breathed in, "shake it out a little bit…AHHHHHHHHH!"_

_Tommy quickly cringed at put his hands over his ears, hearing her shrieks. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea…_

_But then Jude's yelling soon died down and she faced Tommy, "What about you. New tense Tommy at the new tense G-Major. Can he use a scream too?" Jude prodded, "Come on!" She shook herself once again, "Let it out."_

_Agreeing with a smile plastered on his lips, "Ok," was all he said. Tommy then joined in her insanity and screamed, letting out pent up frustration and stress. And it felt good. Soon the two of them were screaming together and Jude found herself jumping onto his back. _

_He held her up as they continued to goof off and she felt safe and happy. Content knowing that no matter what Tommy would always be there for her…_

Jude's heart warmed, recalling how Tommy had stuck up for her back then. When everything seemed to be falling apart, Tommy was the one that helped her keep it together. Suddenly Jude was missing him more than she had ever before…

Absentmindedly turning the photograph over, she found a note written on the back in Tommy's hand writing…

Jude,

I don't know if you'll ever find this, but I wanted to stick it in here to remind you of us. I don't know where we'll stand when you do, I can only hope we're still as close…if not closer. I just wanted to let you know how I feel about you, how I've always felt about you. The moment I first laid eyes on you, I didn't want to feel anything…I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help but admire you and your will. As time wore on, I fell harder, and I berated myself for it because you were so young. I made a lot of mistakes when it came to you and I know I've hurt you and broken your heart, but I don't want to anymore. After that kiss we shared in Darius's office the other night, I knew I'd no longer be able to hide the way I feel for you. I love you Jude Harrison and I always will. You'll always be my Girl.

Love, Tommy

p.s Kwest snapped this picture of us that day in the studio and it's one of my favorite memories, I hope by the time you've read this we've created many more.

As Jude finished reading the written words, a barrage of salty tears were silently cascading down her face. Why did she have to find this now? Of all times, why now when she felt like she had finally moved on? It had been three years since the break up and she tried her damnest to not ever think of him.

After he had first left, she was a complete mess. Jude was constantly plagued with thoughts and memories of Tommy everywhere. He was like her curse and she had hated him, yet still loved him at the same time.

She initially blamed herself for what happened between them, if she hadn't decided the sing the song HE had written for her…but eventually she started to rationalize with herself. It was Tommy's idea in the first place, she never did know why he changed his mind, and if she truly did mean as much to him as he claimed, then Tommy would have run after her…fought for her…did something, anything…but he didn't.

Jude hadn't wanted to fire him, but her feelings for him were too overwhelming and she couldn't handle it. It was all becoming too much. Looking into his eyes when she told him he was fired was the hardest moment in her life…the expression of pain on his face, it tore at her heart, but she held her ground. Maybe he had finally felt the same pain she had felt every time he hurt her?

Besides, she thought it was for the best. Give the two of them some space to figure things out, he could work on his other artists and maybe, after awhile, she could handle working with him again.

But then her worst nightmare became a reality. Tommy left…for good this time. And there was no goodbye.

Jude had walked into G-Major two days after firing Tommy and noticed something wasn't right…things seemed different, odd. So, the first thing she did was barge into Tommy's office, hoping beyond hope that he'd be sitting there as usual sipping his morning latte.

Except this time he wasn't. Her hopes were dashed as she realized his office was completely empty, all of his plaques were gone, his photos removed…everything…gone.

She then stormed into Darius's office, demanding to know what happened. Darius merely shook his head, claiming he had no idea where Tommy had gone, except that he needed to leave.

"He didn't say goodbye…" Jude mumbled softly to herself, staring at the picture, her finger caressing his face, "he didn't say goodbye."

"Jude," Jamie interrupted, walking into the room, causing her head to snap up, "Jude hun, we've been waiting downstairs forever," seeing the look on her face he stopped and asked, "Hey, are you ok? What's wrong?"

Quickly standing, Jude stashed the photograph back into the old notebook and wiped the offending tears away, "Oh it's nothing," she laughed it off, "nothing at all. I'm just so happy, it's not everyday you turn 21." Walking up to Jamie she wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed it tightly, reminding herself of the present and what she had now. Reminding herself that Tommy was a part of her past…a past she had moved on from a long time ago. Right?

Jamie grinned, kissing her forehead lightly, "Yeah and it's not everyday you announce an engagement either," he laughed picking up her left hand and kissing the fancy ring adorned on her gentle finger, "I love you Jude."

Looking up into his eyes, Jude smiled, "I love you too, Jamie." But for some reason she felt odd saying it this time…like her heart was screaming for someone else…someone who had left her behind…


	3. I Find Myself Thinking of You

"TOM! Have you been drinking?" The tall, petite brunette angrily asked, her hand on her hips, glaring at the man entering the front door of the penthouse.

"Ash, don't worry bout it. I had 2 drinks," Tommy rolled his eyes, shrugging off his coat, turning his back away and closing his eyes to drown out her voice.

Ashley threw up her arms, clearly frustrated, "Don't worry about it?! Do you have ANY idea what today is?"

Suddenly his eye's shot wide open and he turned around, his charming smile placed upon his lips, "Do I know what today is? What kind of question is that? Of course I do. It's…it's…um…" Tommy stuttered, searching his mind for whatever it was that his girlfriend was talking about.

"OUR 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!" Ashley hollered, folding her arms across her chest, "I can't believe you forgot! I've had the whole night planned for ages now! Now it's ruined!"

Moving in closer to her, Tommy lifted her chin so her eyes met his, "No its not, there are still hours left before this night is over."

Staring intently at him for a moment, Ashley yanked her head away, "No, not tonight there isn't. I'm leaving. I'll see you tomorrow."

Stunned, Tommy inquired, "What are you talking about? You live here."

"I just need some air; I'll stay at my sister's place tonight."

"Why? I'm sorry ok. I'm here now, we can do whatever you want," Tommy pleaded, "It's not that late yet, why are you so upset?"

Ashley let out a snort, and rolled her eyes, "Why Tom? Why am I so upset you forgot our ANNIVERSARY? Hmmm, that's real cute…you know, I don't think I'd be as mad if it wasn't the first time because I know how busy you are, but you forgot last year too." Seeming to be thinking back she continued, "And if I remember correctly I found you at the bar that night. What is it? Would you rather spend our anniversaries regretting we were together by slamming a few back?"

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears and Tommy cursed himself, shaking his head, "No! That's not it at all. It's just I get…"

"You think of her don't you?" Ashley cried softly, surprising Tommy with her bluntness.

Staring wide-eyed at her Tommy blinked, unable to respond.

"Don't look at me like that Tom, like I'm stupid. You know damn well what I'm talking about," She angrily spat, "When you're with me…you're not WITH me. At least not emotionally."

Tommy's eyes lowered, still incapable of saying anything as shame and quilt coursed throughout him.

Ashley's voice softened, her arms hugging herself, "I know that there was someone before me that broke your heart…or maybe the other way around. I don't know who she is because you won't let me in…"

"How…" Tommy finally muttered before being cut off.

"Because I'm a woman Tom," Ashley smiled weakly, "I understand emotions and feelings. When we first started dating I noticed how every time you looked into my eyes, you seemed to be searching for someone else. I thought if I gave it time, that just maybe…maybe you could learn to feel the same way about me you felt for whoever she is."

"Ash, I want to be with you," Tommy's voice was filled with guilt; listening to the woman before him unmasking what he thought was hidden.

Nodding, she laughed sadly, "And I want to be with you. But I don't want to be second best anymore. I'm tired of competing with some memory."

"I'm sorry," Tommy admitted, "I didn't know you felt that way." He didn't want to go any further than that. He knew it wasn't fair for either of them when he thought of Jude, but she was a part of his very being.

"Yeah," Ashley mumbled, looking away quickly to wipe a tear away, "I want us to stand a chance. But I can't do all the work in this relationship."

"I know. I'm really sorry, Ash, I didn't mean to hurt you," Yet another woman to add to Tommy's long list of broken hearted females…he sighed, shaking his head.

"It's ok. I'm just happy I got all of that off my chest," she exhaled softly, "It's just…I'm right in front of you. I'm the one that wants to be with you. I don't know what happened in your past with whoever it is you think about. I'm just asking that you can forget your past…and…and move on, with me."

Tommy stared deeply into Ashley's amber eyes. So unlike Jude's crystal blue eyes. Glancing away momentarily he wondered. Could he forget about her? Move on from the way he felt about her? It had been three years since he'd spoken to her… maybe it was time. He would always love Jude, but it was likely he would never see her or speak to her again. And here was a gorgeous woman, right in front him. He didn't have to reach into his memory to recall the way she walked, how soft her skin was, or the way his name sounded rolling off of her tongue because Ashley was here…with him…

Maybe…just maybe he was ready to move on. He had to be.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" The crowd yelled as Jude entered the room, linked arms with Jamie.

A huge grin was plastered on her face while she mingled with the crowd. She truly was happy at this point in her life. She had a job she'd always dreamed of, a man who loved and adored her more than anything and…and yet something still felt like it was missing. Like something was tugging at the chords in her heart, telling her it wasn't right. Like she could be happier than she thought she was…if things had turned out differently.

"Jude," Jamie grinned, grabbing her attention, "I'm going to go talk to Darius about some new talent I spotted at a club down town. I'll be back in a jiffy. Is that ok?"

Nodding, Jude leaned up and kissed him softly, "Of course, I'll be here…somewhere," she giggled motioning around the large room.

Kissing her back, Jamie squeezed Jude tightly and whispered, "Happy Birthday," before wondering off in search of Darius.

Jude continued to work the crowd, carrying on casual conversations with everyone she knew, saying hi to those she didn't. When she saw her dad standing at the bar, she found herself running toward him and throwing her arms around his neck, "DAD! You made it!"

"Of course," Stuart chuckled, kissing the top of her head.

Slowly Jude released her arms and smirked, "So…how about we do the traditional father/daughter dance?"

"How about we?" Stuart smiled, holding his hand out for Jude to accept.

After they were out of the dance floor, Stuart casually said, "Sooo, I couldn't help but notice the big shiny object placed on my daughters left hand…"

Jude's eyes widened, "Oh crap! Sorry dad! I meant to call you earlier today and tell you. Jamie proposed this morning. I wanted to tell you before we told everyone else later tonight."

"It's ok, I figured it's been a pretty hectic day for you," Stuart laughed understandingly. Suddenly he stopped dancing and stared adoringly down at her, "I just can't get over the fact that my little girl is 21. It seems only yesterday you and Sadie were little munchkins running around and playing dress up with your mom's dresses. My little girls aren't so little anymore."

"Awww dad," Jude laughed, seeing her dad become misty eyed, "Don't worry. I'll always be your little girl."

Shaking his head in amusement, Stuart continued, "I just hope you're happy. That's all I want for you."

"I am," Jude comforted.

It was at that moment a familiar tune began flowing through the speakers and Kwest's voice filled the room, "Ok folks. Now, I deem it appropriate that for Jude's 21st birthday we play a Harrison classic…Time to be Your 21!"

As Kwest's voice faded, it was replaced with loud clapping and cheers as the old words entered Jude's mind. The smile that had been on her face only moments earlier was now replaced with a slight frown and mild look of discomfort.

Noticing Jude's sudden change in mood, Stuart inquired, "Honey, are you ok?"

Looking at her father, Jude bobbed her head before continuing to dance, "Um…ya…Sorry I spaced there for a moment. What were we talking about?"

"How you were happy?" Stuart studied his daughter closely watching the way her eyes closed and she took a deep breath.

"And like I said before. I am. I am…happy."

"Uh huh…so what's on your mind? Whatever it is, seems to be bothering you."

"You know…it's nothing really," Jude smiled. Her eyes, however, betrayed her.

"Jude," Stuart started, "I think I know what you're thinking about…the song…Tommy?"

"Dad…"

"No Jude. You never talked to anyone about it after he left and I know it left you with a lot of unanswered questions and bottled up emotions. Just," Stuart breathed, "Just know that I'm here to talk if you ever need me."

Stopping their movement, Jude looked away from her dad so he couldn't see the tears beginning to form, "I have to go. Sorry dad." Before Stuart could say anything else, Jude had slipped through the crowd, finding herself in an empty studio.

Shutting the door, Jude allowed a few tears to run down her cheeks as a feeling of emptiness, much like the room she was in, consumed her. She had never felt lonelier than she did at the moment, which was odd considering there was a whole room full of people there just for her on the other side of the door.

Jude stood up and walked to the sound board, absentmindedly her hand ran along the controls until she found the power button. Turning the machine on, Jude let it warm up before she found herself in the sound proof booth. She didn't know what it was, but she had lyrics to a song at the tip of her tongue that desperately needed to be released. She hadn't felt so inspired in ages…just about three years to be exact.

Sitting on a stool in front of the mic, Jude inhaled deeply. She tried to push all thoughts of Tommy out of her mind since she had found the notebook before the party. But just like always, he consumed her every thought. It was like she couldn't get rid of him now. And as she thought of Tommy words began to flow from her soul…

_I always needed time on my own,_

_I never thought I'd,_

_Need you there when I cry_

_And the days feel like years_

_When I'm alone_

_And the bed where you lie_

_Is made up on your side_

_When you walk away_

_I count the steps that you take_

_Do you see how much I need you right now_

Jude recalled watching him walk away from her when she fired him…the look in his eyes…Suddenly she wished she could go back she would change it all, just to see Tommy's blue eyes once more. Just to be held in his large, masculine arms once more... He used to be the one constant in her life. Even with all their ups and downs, Tommy had always been there…

_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you_

_When you're gone_

_The face I came to know is missing too_

_When you're gone_

_The words _

_I need _

_To hear _

_To always get me through the day_

_And make it ok_

_I miss you…_

But he wasn't there anymore. Staring at the glass that separated the recording booth and the sound board, her heart sunk. The familiar chair, once known as Tommy's remained empty. Jude knew it was foolish to think he would out of know where show up after three years. A girl could dream right?

Jude couldn't help but imagine Tommy sitting there right now as she sang from her heart…Just for him…

_I've never felt this way before_

_Everything that I do _

_Reminds me of you_

_And the clothes you left_

_They lie on the floor_

_And they smell just like you_

_I love the things that you do_

_When you walk away _

_I count the steps that you take_

_Do you see how much I need you right now_

_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you_

_When you're gone_

_The face I came to know is missing too_

_When you're gone_

_The words _

_I need _

_To hear _

_To always get me through the day_

_And make it ok_

_I miss you…_

_We were made for each other_

_Out here forever_

_I know we were_

_Yeah, yeah_

_And all I ever wanted_

_Was for you to know_

_Everything I do I give my heart and soul_

_I can hardly breathe_

_I need to feel you here with me_

_Yeah, yeah_

Singing with her eyes closed, Jude allowed herself to believe it was like old times and any minute Tommy would stop her. Either telling her it was perfect, or she needed to give it another go… Any second now, she would hear his familiar voice through the headphones…

_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you_

_When you're gone_

_The face I came to know is missing too_

_When you're gone_

_The words _

_I need _

_To hear _

_Will always get me through the day_

_And make it ok_

Opening her eyes, Jude was brought back to reality. Tommy wasn't on the other side listening to her, she didn't know where he was and the sudden onslaught of emotions only associated with him had worn her out for the night. It felt like it was only yesterday he broke her heart. She didn't want all of this to come back to her…she had finally moved on…she was happy. Jude began to blame the overwhelming emotions for having a stressful day. With getting ready for her birthday, the proposal…yeah that was it. It couldn't be anything else. Right?

Jude was over Tommy.

She didn't need Tommy Quincy…but as her mind repeated this mantra; her heart was chanting something else. A single silent tear cascaded down her gentle cheek and she softly sang the ending of the song…

_I miss you…_


	4. Being Famous Rocks, Being Drunk Doesn't

**Alrighty guys..here is the next chapter, I hope you all like. Oh and it would totally rock if I got more feedback on this story, so that I know people are interested in it:D Thanks xox Frayed at the Edges**

Jude awoke the next morning with a splitting headache and a queasy stomach. Rolling over with a moan, she opened one eye, peaking at the digital clock on her night stand.

Groaning in frustration, Jude dragged herself out of bed and toward the bathroom. After reaching the sink, she opened the mirror to grab a bottle of Advil and once it was shut, she glanced at her reflection. Boy, was she a mess. She had make up was smeared across her face, raccoon eyes, and her hair was going in every direction possible.

Thinking back to last night, Jude couldn't remember much of the end. She recalled everything perfectly up to being in the studio and recording a song, but everything after was just a blur. Jude knew she had returned to the party and did a shot or two, but what happened after that?

Splashing cold water on her face, she sighed in her hands before opening the Advil. After taking a few, she wrapped her bathrobe around her small frame and descended the steps toward the kitchen. Jude may have now been 21, but she and Sadie still lived in their childhood home…it seemed neither was quite ready to give it up yet. Stuart was hardly ever there anyways, so the two girls practically had the house to themselves.

"Morning," Sadie smirked, eyeing Jude as she stumbled toward the refrigerator.

Jude looked over her shoulder, acknowledging Sadie's presence with the casual nod of her head.

Sadie continued to smirk and knowingly inquiring, "Rough night?"

"Obviously," Jude murmured shuffling toward the counter; it hurt her head too much to talk, "Don't remember much. You were there though, weren't you?"

"Indeed, I was," Sadie agreed with one of her eyebrows raised mockingly, not wanting to divulge anymore.

Studying Sadie closely, Jude tilted her head slightly, "What aren't you telling me?"

"You don't remember anything?" Sadie giggled softly, "Really?"

"Really!" Jude answered, becoming quickly irritated, "Everything after taking a shot with Spied is a blur. What happened?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Is it that bad?" Jude cautiously asked.

Sadie thought momentarily, "Could have been worse."

"Alright then…spill, that way I'm prepared when others start to bring up whatever happened."

Nodding, Sadie began, "Well let's see. Jamie found you doing shots with the SME boys, somewhere around your eighth shot. Then the two of you went on stage, where Jamie proceeded to announce to the world about your engagement and then…" Sadie paused momentarily, stifling back laughter, "when he handed you the microphone to say something, you threw up on him. Jamie dragged you off stage, left to go change and you headed back to the bar. We tried to stop you, but you just kept begging people for drinks of their beer, claming your mouth was dry…"

"But drinking more wouldn't help…"

"I know, but everyone complied and continued to give you drinks, even against mine and Portia's protests. Soon you were dancing on top of the bar…."

Jude's mouth fell agape, "NO WAY!"

"Yes way," Sadie calmly stated, like it was no big deal, "It's a good thing Jamie wasn't there because you and Spied were getting a little too close for comfort up there…"

"Wha…" grimacing, Jude shook her head in disbelief.

"Just let me continue. Anyways, by this time, the party was beginning to die down so there weren't many guests left besides a few friends. But I do think someone snapped a few pictures of you dancing on the bar. But you're a star, it was bound to happen. Don't be surprised if there are some snap shots of you in Talk National."

"God," Jude groaned her head in her hands, "I'm never drinking again."

Sadie chuckled with amusement and took a sip of her coffee, "but you know, the most interesting part…"

"Wait…what! There's more?" Jude croaked.

"Yup, fortunately it was only me, you, and Spied. When I was trying to get you into the car, Spied said goodbye and you…you just broke down. In the car, I asked what you were crying about and you sobbed something like, 'hating ex-boy banders with too much gel in their hair that don't know how to say goodbye, but how they are just too irresistible, especially looking in their eyes,'" Sadie recalled thoughtfully, "I'd say you were talking about Tommy?"

Sadie's face suddenly softened and met Jude's eyes before Jude turned away, "It was just drunk mumbling. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Are you sure? Have you talked to Tommy lately or something? I haven't seen you or mention Tommy since right after he left…"

"Sades," Jude breathed, "just stop right there. I haven't seen nor talked to Tommy in almost three years. I don't want to after everything that happened. I know you explained, but he never tried…" Sadie went to open her mouth, but Jude held up her hand to keep her silent, "No, Sades, don't say anything else. I don't know why I mentioned him last night, maybe everything was just getting to me, I drank to much, I…I just don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm over Tom Quincy."

Narrowing her eyes, Sadie shook her head, "You sure?"

Smiling, Jude confirmed, "I'm most definitely sure. It's been three years, I'm pretty sure I'm past petty crushes." With that, Jude moved from the counter and headed back upstairs to the shower.

Jude was just getting out of the shower when she heard her cell phone going off in her room. Knowing the ring signaled Darius, she hurried into the room and answered cheerily, "Hello!"

"Jude, didn't expect you to be up this early," Darius chuckled, "After the amount of alcohol you consumed last night."

Embarrassed, Jude laughed with him, "About that, sorry D…"

"Hey don't worry about it. It was your birthday; I know how it can go. Anyways that's not what I'm calling about."

Jude's eyebrow's knitted together in confusion, "It's not?"

"Nope, it's about that new song you recorded. I listened to it this morning, and Jude, it's definitely gonna be a hit."

Shaking her head into the phone, Jude questioned, "What song?"

"When You're Gone. Found it this morning in Studio B," Darius grinned into the phone, "I don't know when you did it, but it's fantastic! Reminds me of your stuff from back in the day, with T."

"Yeah," Jude's voice was so quiet Darius didn't even register it. Her heart sunk in her chest. She hadn't meant for anyone else to hear it.

"Anyways," Darius continued, "I already had Kwest lay some back tracks along with it. It's gonna bring bank in. I have to tell you Jude, this song just made a decision I made last night even better. You're my best artist and as a late birthday gift, I'm giving you two weeks off…"

Forgetting about the song, Jude jumped in excitement, "Are you serious?"

"Of course I'm serious. When am I not?"

"Um…"

Darius smirked into the phone, "That's right. But there is a slight catch to this. I'm sending you to New York. TRL wants you to make a guest appearance and that's where I want you to promote this new song. After that little gig, whatever you do in New York is up to you. I already have your plane tickets and paid for a penthouse suit."

Jude was beyond giddy at this point, "Wow D…I'm speechless…New York…really, thank you!"

"Hey it's nothing. With the excitement of your engagement, congratulations by the way, and everything, I thought you might need a bit of a vacation."

"You rock my socks, literally D," Jude snickered, before realizing something, "hey! Isn't there a branch of G-Major in New York?"

Hesitating slightly Darius answered, "Yes."

"Maybe I could stop by and check…"

"No Jude," Darius's voice was suddenly stern, shocking her. Realizing the way he sounded, he continued in his casual tone, "Don't visit the American branch. You're going to be on vacation. I don't want you to have to do anything related to work. That way when you come back, you'll be able to write some more incredible songs."

Slightly bewildered, Jude agreed, "Ok, I guess I won't check it out, even though I wouldn't be working. I just thought it'd be nice…Anyways, when do I leave?"

"Three days. You'll appear on TRL that afternoon. I'm sure you'll want to take Jamie and go shopping and do all those other things that girls do to so I'll talk to you later. Bye Jude."

"Bye D," Jude replied, throwing her cell phone onto the bed. She was having a hard time wrapping her mind around the fact that Darius had just given her two weeks off in New York! Running toward the door to tell Sadie the exciting news, Jude's eyes caught sight of the old leather notebook and she shook her head. These next few weeks were going to be exactly what she needed. Ignoring the book and continuing out the door, she thought of all the things she was going to do and how she wouldn't have time to think about a certain ex.

But Jude couldn't have been more wrong…


	5. Thinking of You Just Comes Natural

**Thanks to those who have reviewed my story so far...here's the next installment!**

Tommy lay on his back, one arm behind his head as he gazed absentmindedly at the ceiling above him. Besides the gentle breathing of the woman lying beside him, the room was silent on this early morning, leaving Tommy's mind to wonder...and think about her.

He cursed himself silently, it was only a few hours ago he had told himself he needed to move on, but here he was again…with her plaguing his mind. It was like he couldn't stop, no matter how hard he tried.

Glancing slightly to his left, Tommy observed the way Ashley's short, raven colored hair fell about her face and he smiled. He did care for her…a lot, maybe even loved, but it just didn't feel the same with her as it had with Jude. With Jude, Tommy could talk about music, banter playfully and…just be himself. Yeah, Ashley was fun, but she just didn't get him at times, and truthfully…she never would, and he knew this.

Sighing, Tommy carefully removed himself from bed and trotted to the bathroom to get ready for work, it was the only thing he truly ever enjoyed these days. It always kept the "What Ifs" away and "Maybes" at bay…

By the time Tommy was ready to leave for work; Ashley had woken and was making coffee in the kitchen, "Tom?" She called out before he could reach the front door.

Halting in his tracks, Tommy changed directions and headed for the kitchen, "Yeah Ash?"

"I was just wondering if you had any work plans tonight, because I was thinking," Ashley paused, an girly grin spreading across her lips, "that maybe you and I could make up for last night and go out to eat at a nice restaurant. How does that sound?"

Smirking, Tommy strolled over to her and kissed her softly, "I think it sounds wonderful, I'll call you later."

"Jamie, what do you mean you can't come? IT'S NEW YORK! Plus Darius is giving you the time off too, he already bought the tickets!" Jude argued over the phone. The smile she had been wearing after talking with Sadie had vanished and the happy bubble that had created after finding out about her trip had been burst.

Jamie cringed on the other side of the phone as Jude raised her voice, "I know, but I'm sorry Jude. This group I've been trying to sign FOREEEEVVEEERRR agreed to only if I go to all of their concerts next week. They claim it's their way of making sure I can 'handle it' because they think I'm just some industry guy looking to buy them." Finishing, he listened for a moment waiting for Jude's reply. When he received dead silence, Jamie threw out there, "I can join you the last few days."

"I don't want you there for only a few days," Jude huffed, "Now I'm going to have to go by myself."

"Jude," Jamie pleaded, "Please don't be mad at me. I need this though. Get Sadie to come with you or something. If she can't get off of work, maybe Kwest. He's your co producer and he deserves a break too."

Laughing slightly into the phone, Jude commented, "Don't get me wrong, I love Kwest and everything, but I don't know what in the world we would do together in New York. Maybe Speid…"

"No!" Jamie frantically cut her off.

Jude was taken aback, "Uh and why not?"

"Have you seen Talk National? There are pictures of the two of you AFTER I left your party last night…and let me tell ya, those pictures can make a fiancee a wee bit jealous," Jamie explained, adding a small chuckle in there to make it come off cool and collected.

"Jamie," Jude breathed, "You know nothing is going between Speid and I right? I was just drunk and…"

"I know, I know," Jamie again interrupted, "I can't help but feel that little green monster inside of me roar a little bit when Speid, or anyone for that matter, gets to dance with most beautifully drunken woman while I'm off changing a shirt that had been puked on."

"Sorry," Jude giggled before realizing something, "Wait? So there are pictures of us in Talk National? Sadie said someone snapped a picture." Throwing herself backward on her bed, she groaned, "Ohhhh god! I can't wait to go on vacation now! Jamie I really want you to come."

"Jude…"

"Yeah yeah, don't worry I'm not mad either. I understand," Jude pouted into the phone, "I'm going to miss you." She really was. Jamie was her best friend…Jude glanced down to her left hand remembering he was also her fiancee now…

"And I'll miss you too. I'm sure you can find someone to go with you though, but I gotta go. Love you."

"Love you too," Jude replied half heartedly, her eyes still transfixed on the ring on her finger. Biting her lip, Jude examined it really for the first time. It seemed a bit big, not something she herself would have picked out. Jamie should have known her taste better than that…or she thought he would have. She bet Tommy would have given her the perfect ring, something she would have loved…

Tearing her eyes away from the sparkling diamond before too many questions and thoughts invaded her head; Jude looked at her cell phone and scrolled down her contacts, trying to find someone to go to New York with her.


	6. It's That Old Familiar Feeling

"WOW! New York, haven't been here in ages!" Mason exclaimed, walking out of the airport terminal.

Jude just shook her head in amusement, observing her cowboy friend's excited features, "When was the last time you were here Mase?"

Pondering for a moment, Mason answered, "3 years. Not all of us Instant Stars made it big like you my dear Jude." Laughing he added, "Remember Karma? She thought she was going to make it big…"

"And she was nothing but a one hit wonder!" Jude chimed giddily, remembering one of the women she had loathed more than anyone could possibly fathom, "I can't say I wasn't disappointed when Darius dropped her from the label…but you Mase, you still are getting played on the radio, and you still are making albums."

"Yeah, but I don't get nearly as much airtime as you do sweet cheeks," Mason informed, unashamed, "but hey it's all good, because you rock…literally!" Both laughed, shaking their heads and he inquired, "Now, remind me why you asked me to come with you?"

"Well who better to see the sights of the Big Apple then my best friend?" Jude smiled sweetly, "besides Jamie couldn't make it, Sadie would spend too much shopping and SME was just out of the question. It's gonna be just you, me, and the clubs for two weeks now that I'm legal to drink in the States! I'm so excited!"

"Me too, this is going to be the best vacation Darius has ever given us!" Mason agreed, "but before you start thinking of what clubs you are planning to bless with your presence, how about we focus on making it to your TRL appearance on time and then getting something to eat?"

Rolling her eyes, Jude chuckled, "I guess…if we have to…"

"Ash! I'm going to run and get something to eat, want to come?" Tommy called heading for the front door.

"No," Ashley's voice came from their bedroom, "I'm going out to dinner with my sister. She wanted to have a girls night what with her upcoming marriage and all."

Tommy nodded slightly to himself, "Ok, I'll see ya later babe."

"Bye! I'll be back late tonight so don't wait up ok!"

"Alright, bye."

"Jude Harrison at Denny's…who woulda thunk it!" Mason joked, looking down at his menu.

Throwing her straw wrapper at him, she cried, "What! Why are you so surprised?"

"Well, we are in New York…THE BIG APPLE…and you are rich enough to go to any restaurant of your choice without making reservations because you are a rock star….and you choose Denny's. Classy, let me tell you…"

"Shut up!" Jude laughed, perusing the food items, "I've had a bit of a soft spot for this place, good food…"

Hearing a suave voice coming from the entrance, Jude halted her words and looked over Mason's head to see a very gorgeous blonde man talking on his phone. His green eyes seemed bored, and the Armani suit he wore made him seem out of place. Pointing him out she said, "See, it doesn't look like I'm the only one that opts for simplicity instead of all those fancy restaurants where it cost 20 dollars for a hamburger. I'm pretty fine with the five dollars instead."

Unintentionally, a bit of the man's conversation drifted it's way into their booth, "Tom, man, why am I meeting you at Denny's? Couldn't we catch a bite to eat at DeLouette or something?"

Mason quirked an eyebrow, "It seems he's not as fond of it as you are dear."

"Whatever," Jude rolled her eyes, looking over at the same time the man's eyes met hers. He gave her a subtle wink before continuing on with his conversation.

"Thank god man, I was really hoping we wouldn't have to eat here, I'll meet you over there in a few minutes," once again the man looked at Jude and he flashed a dazzling smile before asking the person on the other end, "Tom, since Ash wont be home tonight, what do you say to a night out…you hardly ever go out anymore…no you went out by yourself the other night…whatever, sure we'll make it an early night….ya, bye." With that the man snapped his phone shut, his gaze still set on Jude.

Suddenly Jude was very aware that the man was approaching her. Sticking his hand out he introduced himself, "Hi I'm Brendon , and you are seriously a stunningly gorgeous woman."

Letting out a small snort, Jude placed her hand in his and shook it, "Wow that was quite blunt."

"I couldn't help myself, and whenever I see someone as beautiful as yourself I don't hold back," Brendon grinned, laying on the charm as thick as he could.

"Well Brendon, sorry to disappoint you, but I'm spoken for," Jude said as sweetly as possible holding up her left hand.

Brendon's grin faltered slightly and looked across from Jude to the man sitting there in the cowboy hat, "Sorry man, I didn't know she was yours…"

"Oh no! We're not together…" Jude hastily interrupted, her eyes wide in amusement at the thought.

Mason shook his head, "I'm Mason, the Best Friend."

Rising his eyebrow, Brendon inquired, "So where is the man who has placed the large rock on your finger Ms…"

"Jude, my name's Jude. And my fiancee is taking care of some business back home in Canada."

"What a shame. So are you here on vacation or something, just the two of you?" Both Mason and Jude nodded before something clicked in Brendon's head, "Wait…you're Jude as in Jude Harrison right? I knew you looked familiar."

Jude's smile grew, astonished someone like Brendon would know who she was, "Ya that's me."

"Wow, it's really great to meet you, I'm a producer here in New York and I would love if half my artists turned out like you. What do you two say to a night out on the town? A buddy of mine is joining me at Club Majestic tonight after we get dinner, would you like to join us?" Brendon asked, Jude Harrison was one beautiful woman and fiancee or not, he wasn't with her now nor would he be there tonight so he was sure they could have a little fun.

Thinking momentarily, Jude wondered if she should accept the invite. It wouldn't be wrong to go dancing just for fun with the guy would it? Jamie would understand. When she came to a conclusion she opened her mouth to say something, but Mason answered for them.

"We'd love to!" He exclaimed.

This caused a satisfied smile to spread across Brendon's face, "Great," producing a card from inside his suit her handed it to Jude, "You can get a hold of me at this number later tonight. I'll be there around 10. I look forward to seeing you then."

Accepting the card, Jude nodded, "Alright, sounds like a plan. It was nice meeting you."

"Ditto, see ya later," Brendon waved, turning to walk back out the restaurant.

"Now, that man was hot," Mason breathed, taking his cowboy hat off and fanning himself.

Jude giggled, "That must explain why you were unusually quiet and jumped at the night out invite."

"Uh huh!" Mason laughed, excitedly bopping his head.

"Well, it looks like we know what our plans for tonight are! Lets hurry and eat so I can go back and get ready!"

The club was packed and the women were beautiful, but Tommy didn't seem to notice, sitting next to Brendon at the bar who seemed excited to meet up with some chick he had met earlier.

"Man can you at least seem to act happy to be here. What's up with you?" Brendon asked, hoping that Tom wouldn't ruin his plans for the night with the way he was acting.

Tom shook his head, "It's nothing, it's just that with Ash's sister getting married soon, Ash keeps hinting at marriage."

"Damn," Brendon breathed, patting Tom on the back, "women…whenever one gets married, the rest cry out marriage too!"

Tom chuckled slightly, "Ya, you're telling me."

Brendon turned toward the bartender motioning for another beer, "So what's the problem? I mean I know you're 'Lil Tommy Q' and everything," ignoring the glare he received, he added, "but you've been with Ash for what…2 years now… after that much time, women think it's only right to be engaged. You love her don't you?"

Tommy slightly nodded, gulping down a drink of his beer, "Um ya…of course man."

"Then why don't you just do it already?"

"It's not that simple. I don't want to rush into it."

"Rush into it?" Brendon guffawed, "you've been together for awhile now, you live together, she's beautiful, sexy, legs to die for…"

"Hey watch it man," Tommy glared.

"Ok ok, all I'm saying is that you're practically already married, all you are missing is the ceremony, so tell me how it would be rushing it? Ash is like perfect," Brendon pointed out, slightly jealous at what Tommy had. He'd known Ashley for 7 years and if he had a chance he'd go for her. Tommy didn't know how lucky he was.

"Yeah," was Tommy's only response. Deciding to pull away from the current discussion topic Tommy asked, "So where's this girl we're meeting up with?"

"She just text me actually," Brendon said looking at his cell, "she's outside the building. Let me tell you, she is a blonde bomb shell."

Tommy chuckled, "Do I know this bomb shell? Does she have a name?"

Brendon thought for a minute, Tommy actually might know her since he was from Canada and worked at G-Major in Toronto at the same time Jude was there, but he didn't know if he knew her or not, "You're just going to have to see. You might know her, you might not. She's in the music business…

"It's not Christina Aguilera is it? Please don't let it be her…" Tommy started, but  
Brendon's laugh cut him off.

"No it's not, you're just gonna have to wait and see, she's gonna be in here any second now."

It was at that moment Jude walked into the club with Mason at her side feeling confident while the music pounded in her ears and bodies moved beside her. She looked good and felt good. After searching for nearly an hour she had found the perfect outfit. Wearing a short mini denim skirt frayed at the edges with an off the shoulder top, Jude made her way towards the bar where Brendon had said he'd be.

Reaching the bar, she quickly scanned the crowd around it and spotted the back of Brendon's blonde head sitting next to a man with dark chocolate colored hair. For some reason, Jude's stomach did a somersault and she didn't know why. There was just something familiar about the man with dark hair.

Shaking it off and passing the feeling off as excitement to be at the club, Jude grabbed Mason's hand and dragged him with her. Finally behind Brendon she tapped him on the shoulder gently and he abruptly turned around but his friend continued to face the bar.

Brendon's face lit up when he saw Jude and hit Tommy's in the arm indicating for him to turn and see who the mystery woman was.

The moment Tommy looked behind him, his heart dropped and his eyes widened. He almost didn't want to believe his own eyes.

Jude's breath caught in her throat, her grip on Mason's hand tightened, and the feeling in her stomach increased ten-fold when she saw who was sitting barely 2 feet in front of her.

"Jude! Glad you made it," Brendon started, seemingly unaware of the shocked expressions on everyone's face, "I'd like you to meet a good friend of mine, this is To…"

"Tommy," Jude interrupted so softly it was practically a whisper, her eyes locked with the same set of ocean blue eyes she had fallen in love with almost 6 years before.


	7. Here's To The Night

"Jude." Her name had never sounded so sweet as it rolled off the tip of Tommy's tongue. She had longed to hear his voice, dreamed of it really and one simple word sent her emotions into overdrive…

Tommy's voice was soft as he spoke her name…she looked like the epitome of perfection standing in front of him, her hair in loose, blonde curls and her beautiful eyes shining brighter than he remembered. She seemed so…so…grown up…

Brendon suddenly caught on to the sudden tension and looked between Tommy and Jude, "Um you two already know each other?"

Tommy merely nodded his head, unable to find the right words to say because the girl…woman who had stole his heart years before was standing right in front of him, after three years of no contact whatsoever, there she was…just staring wide eyed and gorgeous.

With her heart pounding in her ears, Jude stood still, holding onto Mason for dear life. She couldn't believe it, she didn't want to believe it. After three years…three long, wishful years…Tommy was sitting right in front of her looking better than she remembered. His piercing, sapphire colored eyes staring into hers was enough to make her go weak in the knees and turn her into putty all over again.

Feeling Mason slightly tug on her hand, Jude was brought out of her reverie, "Ah, um, ye…yes we know each other. From a long time ago," feeling slightly fidgety all of a sudden and anxious, she turned to Mason, "I need to go to the bathroom. Like now." With that she beelined it as fast as she could to the restrooms, pulling Mason along with her.

As soon as Jude was out of earshot, Brendon faced Tommy to find him still staring after her and he shook his head in silent laughter, "What was that all about?" When it was apparent Tommy was neither listening nor paying attention to him, Brendon punched him in the arm.

Jolting out of the state of shock he was in, Tommy winced, "OW! Man, what was that for?"

"It was the only way I could get your attention," Brendon shrugged, "now once again…what was that whole awkward thing with Jude about?"

Tommy nonchalantly shook his head before answering, "Nothing, it's a long story."

"Why don't you give me the footnotes then?"

"Alright," Tommy sighed, "I met her when I was 22, she was 15. I was her producer and we had a close relationship. Best Friends even. Some things happened on her 18th birthday and I left shortly after. The End."

"Oookay," Brendon drug out, "that told me absolutely nothing. Soo you're telling me, you were close and left and that led to you meeting up 3 years later and tension you can cut with a knife? I'm not buying it man."

"Look Bren, I don't want to go into it. Jude and I, that's something that I've tried to stay away from since I've moved here so drop it…just drop it," Tommy muttered, reaching for his beer, his mind wondering how the night was going to unfold.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!" Jude exclaimed pulling Mason into the women's bathroom with her, "Mase, I can't breathe, oh my god!" She cried, pacing frantically back and forth.

"Jude," Mason stated grabbing her shoulders to keep her steady, "Jude! Just stop, inhale deeply and then exhale for a second ok? Can you do that for me? In…Out…In…better?"

Nodding slightly, Jude took a deep breath before walking toward the sinks, "Oh my god, Mase, I can't believe it. Tommy…Tommy Quincy is right outside of those doors."

"I know, and he's looking better than ever," Mason added, with a smirk.

Slapping his shoulder, Jude ran her hands through her hair, "Not helping!"

"Jude, calm down. I mean, I know it's Tommy Quincy, hottie whom you loved since you were 15, but you're an adult now. Let's go out there and show Mr. Lil' Tommy Q exactly how grown up you are and make him wish he never left Toronto."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Jude questioned, "Maybe we could just catch up, you know, so I could find out what he's been up to. I don't want to show him anything. With the way he left…besides, I'm with Jamie and I lo.." gulping slightly she hesitated, "I love Jamie. Now I'm here to have fun and that's that."

"Teasing Tommy could be very fun," Mason beamed, folding his arms across his chest.

Laughing gently, a small smile forming on her lips, Jude shrugged, "Yes it could." But she wasn't going to tease him in the way Mason was thinking. Jude planned on talking to Tommy as if nothing had happened between them…as if **they **never happened. If it was the Tommy she still knew, he'd be expecting her to demand answers, which she really wanted to do, but tonight was about fun and she was going to have fun damn it! He'd be bothered by her lack of interest in the past and how the way things ended with them. Of course it would be unlikely he'd even want to talk about it himself, but Jude knew he'd expect her to delve into it somewhat and she wasn't going to.

"Sorry guys," Jude apologized approaching the two handsome men once again.

"No problem," Brendon ginned, "what can I get you to drink."

"A slippery nipple please," Jude answered, catching Tommy eyeing her. Her confidence once again coming into play, she said "Make that two actually," turning her attention to Tommy she casually asked, "Care to take a shot with me?"

Tommy studied her for only a second, "Sure." That wasn't exactly the first thing he really thought she'd say to him after all these years. Tommy was expecting a slap, some angry words, maybe a hug even, but no he didn't receive anything except for a shot glass in front of him. Maybe Jude had changed a lot more than just growing up over the years.

"Great," Jude smiled lifting the shot glass now in front of her, indicating Tommy to do the same. Holding it in the air she toasted, "here's to a fabulous next two weeks in New York with my best friend…and to a night of remembering old friends and past lives." Tossing the liquor down her throat, she grinned over at Tommy and found him smiling back at her, and she felt her heart flutter…damn that Quincy smile.

Tommy set down his empty glass and gave Jude a small smile. His mind was running over what she had said…Jude was going to be in New York for two weeks…he might be able to talk to Jude and see her for the next two weeks.

Shaking his head to focus on the present, he gave Jude a wider smile and quirked an eyebrow asking, "Another?"

Jude lightly bit her lip debating whether or not she wanted to drink too much tonight, after only a second she nodded, "Why not."


	8. It Always Ends With Complicated

"Whatever, you sooooo wanted me," Tommy chuckled in his beligerent state while the bartender dropped off another round for them.

Snorting loudly, Jude slurred, "Oh yeah, because I just looooooovvveed booty shaking boy banders when I was 10...sorry Quincy, that was Sadie's territory."

Putting the shot glass back down before he had a chance to take it, Tommy tried to clear his head to speak seriously for a minute. The two of them had done nothing more but take shot after shot and drink after drink for the past hour with minimal chatting. Never in his wildest dreams did he think a reunion with Jude would end up like this. She seemed so calm…so un Jude like.

"I like when you call me that…nobody calls me that," Tommy remarked wistfully.

"What? Booty shaking boy bander?" Jude smirked.

"No," Tommy shook his head, "Quincy…and Tommy…nobody calls me that here. It's either Tom or Thomas. Sometimes there's the occasional Lil Tommy Q comment, but never Tommy and never Quincy. I missed it…" Hesitating momentarily he added, "I missed you."

Jude's eyes widened and she felt her head slightly clearing up. Tommy was treading into dangerous waters by saying that. Didn't he understand that by saying that, he was going to start something Jude really didn't want to go into yet? Tonight was supposed to by fun, no worries of exes and fiancées…just fun.

"Jude," Tommy whispered worriedly, she looked like she was about to suddenly get sick. Touching her shoulder gently, he felt a jolt course through him. It was the first time he had touched her in 3 years and the simplest of touches ignited a passion within him he hadn't felt in a long time.

"Tommy," Jude started, unsure of how to respond. Should she admit she missed him too, that she used to dream of how things would be when they saw each other again. Or should she tell him she had moved on? Deciding to take a chance, Jude was going to tell Tommy she missed him more than he could ever imagine. Maybe it was the liquid courage…maybe it wasn't. Slowly placing her left hand atop of his, she fumbled with the words to say, "I…"

Looking down at their hands, Tommy took a sharp intake of breath at the contact, but his breathing nearly stopped when he caught a glint of the large rock placed on an important, commitment finger. "Wow," Tommy slowly breathed out, interrupting whatever Jude was about to say, "You're engaged? To who?"

Following Tommy's gaze, her own eyes set on the ring she was given only days before, sending a wave of guilt to wash over her. She hadn't thought of Jamie once since she ran into Tommy. Gulping slightly, Jude slowly pulled her hand away and fiddled with the ring, "Um…ya," her voice croaked. Shaking her head gently, she cleared her throat, sounding more sure, "Yes I am. And as to who, I don't know if I should answer that one."

Pulling his eyes away from the ring that seemed to taint her beautiful hand, Tommy looked into her face and saw a small smile had appeared. It sent him into a daze and he could tell by the sincerity in that tiny action, that Jude was happy with her life.

And that's when it hit him. She had been able to move on. Move forward with her life. She obviously hadn't let their past hold her back, so why was he? It hurt him to know that Jude had found someone new, someone to build a life with…someone who wasn't constantly hurting her.

How was she able to move on and commit, but he couldn't?

"Oh, come on," Tommy smirked, "the guy can't be that bad that you don't want to share his name. Wait…wait, don't tell me it's Speiderman," Tommy joked, but silently praying it wasn't.

"What!" Jude shrieked, grabbing the beer in front of her and taking a swig, "Speid? Oh god no!"

Her laughter was like music to his ears and he joined in, "So then who is it?"

"I can't believe you don't know already. It was all over the tabloids after it was announced at my birthday party the other night."

"Ya, well, I don't really pay attention to those things anymore," Tommy smiled, taking a drink of his beer, "But he must be someone pretty special. You must really love him."

'_Not as much as I love you,' _Jude's heart screamed. Studying his features for a moment, Jude looked away, her thoughts going to Jamie, "Yes…I do." Glancing back over at Tommy she thought she saw something in his eyes…something familiar…but she shook it off and smiled widely, "It's actually Jamie."

Tommy had just been in the middle of taking a drink, when he quickly spit it back out, "Andrews? Are you serious?"

"Ya," Jude laughed, "He's helped me so much throughout the years, and he's always there, especially when you…" she suddenly stopped herself. Jude had almost found herself bringing up their painful past, "We…we've been dating for about two and half years now."

Tommy had caught on to what she had intentionally started to say, but chose not to comment on it, knowing it wasn't something to discuss at the current moment. Maybe later when they both were sober and in a more private setting. Possibly 20 years down the road…

"So how about you Mr. Quincy, any girls able to tame your bachelor ways yet?" Jude grinned, drinking more of her beer. Something inside of her was hoping he'd say no, that he had waited for her this whole time. But she knew that was wrong and it wasn't fair. If anything Tommy Quincy was the type to never look back on the past. Sure he had said he missed her and he did sound sincere, but he could have meant it in so many different ways. Maybe he meant he missed being her producer…or…or maybe she should just stop thinking and get another beer.

Nodding slowly, a small smile playing on his lips, Tommy opened his mouth to answer her when Brendon suddenly popped up between them.

With his arms placed on both of their shoulders, he slurred, "Tom…Jude…what the hell are you two still sitting here! Get your asses out on that dance floor."

"I don't dance," Tommy remarked.

"Well what about you Jude Harrison…you're hot, you look great, care to share a dance or two with me?" Brendon inquired, removing his arm from Tommy and turning all of his attention toward the young rock star.

Giggling at Brendon's drunken state, Jude nodded, "Sure, let me take another shot real quick."

"What? You gotta be drunk to dance with me," Brendon smirked, taking a shot as well.

Jude rolled her eyes and stood from her stool and grabbed Brendon's hand, "Whatever, let's go hot shot."

Tommy was still sitting at the bar, half an hour later watching Jude out on the dance floor. She had returned several times with Brendon to take some shots, but other than that, Tommy sat alone, drinking by himself.

Now as he sat there and watched, he noticed Jude was extremely close to Brendon as they danced. Tommy's blood pressure began to rise as Brendon's hand landed on Jude's thigh and began to slowly trek upward.

To Tommy's relief, Jude seemed to have noticed and removed Brendon's curious fingers and Mason soon joined the two on the dance floor.

"Why don't you just go dance with her?"

"Excuse me?" Tommy turned around to face a very attractive bartender speaking to him.

"I said, why don't you just go dance with her?" The woman smirked as if it was just the most obvious thing to do.

Scoffing, Tommy shook his head, "I can't do that…" taking a glance at her nametag, he added, "Tara."

"And why not?" Tara inquired, "The whole night I've noticed your eyes follow that pretty little girl's every move. Did you even notice all the women flaunting themselves at you since you've been sitting here by herself?" Taking his silence for an answer, she rolled her eyes, "That's what I thought. So what's the story with this girl."

"What do you mean?" Tommy agitatedly murmured through a drink of his beer.

"Ahh, I see now," Tara knowingly smiled, "she's the girl that got away isn't she?"

"Something like that," Tommy muttered, sending a fleeting look toward the dance floor.

Eyeing him for a moment, she commented, "It's obvious you're not much of a talker when it comes to things like this."

"Is it that obvious?" He cockily grinned.

"Very," Tara said, "But seriously why don't you just go out there and dance with her. Sitting here and talking to pretty ole me aint gonna get you very far."

Tommy sighed, "Listen, if it'll get you off my back, Jude and I just ran into each other after three years of no contact at all. We didn't leave things on the greatest of terms. Now she's engaged, I'm with someone else, and all I've been trying to do is forget whatever there was between us so I can move on with my life and let her be happy so I can be happy," pausing for a moment, he breathed out, "Now…are YOU happy?"

"Hmmm," Tara studied Tommy silently, "You know, trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew…damn near impossible." With that she turned and walked off to help another customer.

Tommy's eyes once again turned toward the dance floor as he pondered what the woman had just told him. Feeling the alcohol in his system sweeping away any nerves and uneasiness, Tommy got off the stool and made his way to Jude.


	9. Make Sure To Keep Your Head Held High

Feeling the vibrations of the music pulsating through her body, Jude felt more liberated than she had in awhile. Ok, so she had been drinking way too much, but she was having more fun than she had had in ages.

Running into Tommy again had stirred something inside of Jude…something that had been missing for a long time…she felt more like her feisty old self. The kid rock star who did things her way and didn't care about consequences…she acted on passion. It was safe to say the alcohol was probably playing a big role in the feeling as well, but somehow it was different.

She had initially taken up Brendon's offer to dance, hoping Tommy would tag along, but as time wore on, Jude just went with the flow. Brendon was a fun guy, albeit his hands were a little too friendly, she understood he too had been drinking far more than she had.

Jude closed her eyes and her body gyrated to the rhythm of the music, ignoring everything else around her. Suddenly she felt two strong hands grasp a hold of her waist and pull her back flush against them. Not phased at all Jude continued dancing along with the stranger, their bodies moving fluidly together.

Relaxed and at complete ease, Jude reached behind her and wrapped her arms around the guys neck as his hands slowly moved from her waist to her thighs.

Tommy didn't know what he was doing, the moment Jude leaned into him, he lost all train of thought and let his senses take over. Her smell was intoxicating…so sweet, he missed it so much it was driving him crazy. He knew it was wrong of him to be this close to her, to be dancing with her so provocatively, but it was like he couldn't control his own actions. As Jude's arms went around his neck, he moved his hands to her thighs and began to gently caress them. Tommy was so tempted to lean down and place a kiss on her exposed neck.

For some reason, Jude wasn't alarmed by the man's actions, although she knew it was wrong…his touch was familiar…too familiar. Feeling his breath on the sensitive area of her neck, Jude swiftly spun around in his arms and was met with Tommy's alluring eyes staring intently.

Both stilled their actions, Tommy brought his hands back to her waist, and Jude's were on his chest. Jude was lost in his eyes and Tommy was lost in hers. He could feel her breath on his face, only inches away, making him feel dizzy. He could blame it on all the alcohol, but he knew it was more than that. Jude always sent his emotions into a frenzy, he always took chances when he was near her.

"Taking chances seems to be all the rage," Tommy whispered softly.

Jude stared curiously at him, barely hearing what he had said. It took her only a moment to realize what he meant and she recalled the moment when she herself said the same thing to Tommy all those years ago. A small smile played across her lips and she wrapped her arms back around his neck.

Tommy was smiling now too…a real smile, something he had done very rarely over the last few years.

Neither knew who made the first move, but soon their faces were merely centimeters apart. Jude licked her lips hesitantly. Something was nagging at her in the back of her mind, telling her it was wrong, she was drunk and she was making a mistake if she moved any closer to Tommy. Her heart was on the other side of the fence, it was telling her to go for it, and it almost seemed like her heart was singing in rejoice. Deciding to throw caution to the wind, Jude stood on her tippy toes and lightly brushed her lips against Tommy's. "Time to be your 21," she murmured.

The irony of that little sentence made Tommy chuckle, but he didn't waste a second longer to take her pink, luscious, plump lips captive with his own in a fiery kiss.

Jude's hands immediately flew into Tommy's perfectly styled chocolate brown hair as the kiss intensified. It felt so right kissing him like this…like he was hers again…like it should have always been.

Neither knew how long they kissed, nor did they care…that was until someone bumped into them, forcing them abruptly apart.

Pulling away, Jude continued to gaze at Tommy, stunned.

Brendon, the drunk who stumbled into them, wrapped his arms around both of them, "Ahhhh, isn't this jus sooooo cute," he drawled, snickering. Tommy shook Brendon's arm off his shoulder, shooting a glare that would make anyone cringe, but Brendon ignored it as he grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and handed it to Tommy. "Ash, has been calling me," he fumbled, "I pretty sure you better call her! She did not sound to happy on the phone. No she did not!"

A sudden guilt washed over Tommy at the mention of Ashley while he snatched the phone out of Brendon's hand and sent a sideways glance at Jude to see confusion written all over her face.

Tommy walked a few feet away and Jude looked after him, noticing his sudden tense posture. Shaking her head to try and clear it from the alcohol threatening it, making things fuzzy, Jude questioned, "Who's Ash?"

"Ashley?" Brendon quirked his eyebrow and casually answered, "Oh, that would be Tommy's main squeeze."

Jude's eyes widened, and she suddenly felt very nauseous. Folding her arms across her chest, Jude's eyes caught a glimpse of her engagement and she felt her heart weighing heavy in her chest. She began to feel disgusted with herself, enraged that she had given in so easy to Tommy Quincy once again in less than three hours.

Jamie…poor Jamie, he didn't deserve this. Jude breathed in deeply, and put her hands on head, still feeling rather ill. Maybe she shouldn't have had so many shots…

"Ashley, I told you, I didn't plan on coming here," Jude overheard Tommy agitatedly remark, "you know how Bren is…ya I know…don't worry about me…listen babe, I'll see you at home…"

Before Jude heard anything else, she felt her stomach revolting and her hand flew to her mouth as she spun around on her heels and raced out of the club. Brendon chased after her when he saw her at the exit.

"Jude," he called out when she was only a few feet outside the club.

With one hand on her mouth, Jude held out her other stopping Brendon in his tracks. That was it, she couldn't hold it anymore and began to empty the contents of her stomach. When she was sure the retching was over with, Jude fell to her knees and leaned against the nearest wall, yanking her fingers through her blonde locks frustratingly. "I'm so stupid," she continuously muttered, not caring Brendon was still standing there.

"Listen, Jude," Brendon began, he really didn't know how to deal with these type of situations. Honestly he didn't even know why he followed Jude out here to begin with, but there was just something about her that pulled you in, "I don't know what went on between Tom and you…"

"Nothing did," Jude harshly interrupted, "absolutely nothing."

"Whatever," Brendon threw his hands up in defense, "I'm just trying to help you. If it helps I wont say a word to anyone about what I saw back in the club."

Jude didn't respond as her mind wondered back to the heated kiss. Why? Why did she do this to herself over and over again with Tommy? There were so many unresolved issues between them still…it was as if fate was playing with her this past week. First the notebook, then the picture, everyone's sudden interest in bringing up Tommy after all this time…and now this.

Looking up at Brendon, "What you saw," Jude breathed, keeping her voice steady, "was nothing. It was typical Jude and Tommy behavior. We see each other, we kiss…then we never mention it again. Alright?"

Brendon nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets, "Alright." Deciding to take a chance, he knelt down in front of her and moved some hair out of Jude's face. Seeing the little act bring a shadow of a smile to her face, he confidently cupped her cheek and moved his face closer to hers, going in for a kiss.

When Jude saw Brendon moving in on her, she furiously pushed him back and hastily stood up, "What do you think you're doing?!"

Standing up himself and recovering from the shove, Brendon shrugged, "I saw an opportunity, and I tried to take it."

"I'm engaged," Jude cried furiously, grabbing her cell phone out of her back pocket.

"It didn't seem like you cared much in there with Tommy," Brendon smirked.

"Just go away Brendon, I need to get back to my hotel," Jude angrily spat, trying to focus on her cell phone, finding it hard with the amount of alcohol in her system...damn it! She knew she shouldn't have taken so many shots. Where the hell was Mason? Her night of fun had undoubtedly turned into a night of disaster.

Brendon just shook his head and walked away without saying another word, and Jude couldn't believe the gall of him. What a prick. "Guys…they're never what they seem," Jude mumbled under breath, trying to keep back tears threatening to spill. Tears of what, Jude had no idea. They could have been of anger, frustration…or sorrow and regret.

Figuring it was worthless to mess with her phone anymore, Jude hailed down a cab and went back to her hotel. She just needed some sleep, a sober mind, and some time to herself.

**Chapter 9...When Everything Goes Wrong, Make Sure You Keep Your Head Held High**

Back in the club, Tommy hung up the phone and turned to where Jude and Brendon had been only to find neither there anymore. His eyes scanned the large crowd for sign of either of them, but to his dismay he couldn't see them.

A few minutes passed and then out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of Brendon walking in from outside of the club. Hastily, he made his way through the throngs of bodies and toward his friend.

"Hey, where's Jude?" Tommy questioned once he got near enough.

"She left," Brendon shrugged, "she threw up."

Tommy nodded his head and glanced at the entrance, hoping maybe she'd reappear. After only a moment, Tommy reopened Brendon's phone and brought his own out of his pocket, turning it on.

"What are you doing?" Brendon inquired curiously.

"Getting Jude's number from you," Tommy admitted.

Brendon observed him silently, then noted, "You have feelings for her." Tommy ignored him and put his phone away, choosing not to glance up. "Honestly, Tom, I don't care, but you better not hurt Ashley."

Tommy's head snapped up and he glared at Brendon, "I don't plan on it." Angry with his friend, although he didn't know exactly why, Tommy walked away and he too left the club.


	10. It's A Long Journey Back

**I would just like to say thanks for all the wonderful replies I've recieved in regards to this fic! It means a lot to me to know that people are liking what I write! And if you have had the chance you should check out my other story "Dedication"...Anywho...here's the next chapter:D**

Flying into her suite and slamming the door behind her, Jude went straight for the king sized, dreamy bed awaiting her and plopped down on it. A groan of frustration was released from the depths of her throat and she threw both hands over her face, shaking her head silently.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Jude cried, "I'm such an idiot!" Pulling her hands away she spread them out on the bed, her head aching and her heart…her heart confused. Sleep beckoned her, and the liquor was still coursing her veins. Yet, as she lie there alone in the large, unbelievably comfortable bed (mind you any sane person would have passed out on it in an instant), Jude found herself staring at the bare white ceiling.

Hours passed and she was still observing the very dull ceiling with more interest than really necessary… wait was that a spider? No…false alarm…ugh why the hell couldn't she sleep, pass out like any other normal human who had drank too much for their own good? Jude flipped around to lie on her stomach, hoping to find solace in the new position for sleep, but it did nothing but lunch her mind into new thoughts.

Jude tossed and turned unable to get the night's events to stop playing in her mind. Why had she done it? Why had she kissed him?

Or did he kiss her?

Ugh, she was definitely never drinking again, because she could hardly remember much of anything in the final hour she had been at that club…except for that kiss…

Unconsciously, her slender fingers touched her lips recalling the way his mouth felt upon hers…his breath…the warmth she felt being so close to him…

Just thinking about it made Jude dizzy. Dizzy in a good way. And as she remembered the way his eyes peered into hers and the way it felt to be in his arms, her eyelids lowered, her breathing steadied. Jude had finally succumbed to a peaceful slumber, Tommy Quincy's image the last thing floating behind her eyelids.

The morning sun shone brightly into the large room, but the man sitting on the edge of the bed didn't seem to have noticed and was unfazed by it's teasing brilliance. His entire being seemed exhausted…like he hadn't slept at all…

Which he hadn't.

Tommy hadn't been able to get a wink of sleep last night because every time he shut his eyes, Jude's precious face popped before his closed eyelids, taunting him.

Why was his life so screwed up?

He just had to kiss her, had to taste her perfect pouty lips…he couldn't resist her, and it wasn't just because of the alcohol…it was because she was Jude Harrison.

HIS girl…or at least she used to be.

A pang in his heart caused a heavy sigh from Tommy when he was reminded how close they once were. Seeing her last night, it was almost like it was fated, that they would run into each other…at this point in his life when he had decided he truly needed to move on.

An old saying popped in Tommy's mind and he shook his head sadly, _"If you love someone let them go, if they come back it was meant to be."_

But were they meant to be? AHHH…it was so frustrating, he shouldn't even be thinking about Jude or thoughts of being with her, he had Ashley…loyal, loving, the perfect girlfriend…

And who was due to be home any time and if he didn't want her to worry, he'd better get in the shower and get cleaned up. The smell of liquor engulfed him, as well as smoke, and…the smell of _her…_

The thought of that alone caused Tommy to hesitate for a moment, because he felt like he would be ridding himself of Jude.

Laughing at himself bitterly, Tommy stood and began to undress as he walked toward the adjoining bathroom. His thoughts raced. Would Jude talk to him again after last night, if he felt guilty about just kissing her, she had to feel upset because she was after all, engaged!

Finally he came to the conclusion that Jude was going to be around for two weeks. Two weeks in which he could get to know her again…be her friend again. He wanted that…he NEEDED that. It was better than nothing, and if anything, maybe it would ease his mind. Maybe he wouldn't think about her constantly.

First, he had to talk to her about last night. Possibly apologize.

Right…maybe he should call her…

Before he finished undressing, he went back to the nightstand next to the bed and grabbed his cell phone. Glancing at the time he momentarily had second thoughts about calling her. It was only 8 am, she probably wasn't even awake yet, she never was a morning person so more than likely he'd end up reaching her voicemail.

Which wasn't such a bad thing, in fact it seemed more appealing then talking to Jude herself.

Scrolling through his contacts, Tommy finally reached her name and his thumb grazed gently over the call button. After breathing deeply, he pressed down on the green button and began pacing back and forth…

One ring…well at least he knew her phone was on.

Two…was it just Tommy or did each ring seem to last an excruciating long time?

Three…

Four rings…

"HEY! You've reached Jude. I'm obviously unable to answer my phone for a multitude of reasons, ranging from sleep to work and everything in between. So just leave a name, number, and message and I'll catch ya later! Oh, I have to make it clear that if you start your message with Hey Jude, you will never hear me from me again! OK? Thanks, BYE!"

A smile formed on his lips hearing her chipper voice and his heart momentary lifted, but as soon as the BEEP signaled him to start his message he fumbled for the right words to say, "Hey Ju…oops I uh mean, Hey, It's Tommy. Ya, so listen, I really think we should talk," Tommy started, obviously nervous. Since when was Tom Quincy ever nervous like this? He sounded like a bumbling buffoon. "We should talk…about some things. It would just be great if you could call me back, my number should be on your phone, if not, it's 714-425-0185. I really want to see you Jude, maybe we can get lunch or something soon. Call me."

Snapping the phone shut, he stared at it as if she was going to call him immediately back. After a few seconds he tossed it off to the side and headed for the shower, hoping the water would help relax him.

"RISE AND SHINE BABYCAKES!" Mason bellowed, throwing the blinds in Jude's room open allowing the unbearable white light to cascade into the room.

Jude's eyes squeezed tighter shut trying to keep the sunshine out. "Mase!" She whined, throwing the covers up over her head, her head slightly pounding.

"Don't 'Mase' Me," Mason remarked happily strolling toward the bed, yanking the covers off of her.

"Please, just another hour," Jude pleaded, her eyes cracking slightly before grabbing her pillow and shoving it over her face.

"Nope," Mason laughed, seizing the pillow, and with some effort was able to pry it out of Jude's grasp, "It's already 10 and we have this entire city to explore in two short weeks. So get that pretty little head of yours into the shower so we can get a move on it."

Jude glared fiercely at him, while her eyes squinted painfully in the light, "I'm not feeling very well…"

"Don't give me that," Mason interrupted, "it's your fault you drank like a bazillion shots last night with Tommy…speaking of which how did that go?"

Quickly snatching her pillow back, Jude laid her head on it and sighed. Should she tell Mason what had transpired between them, that she'd kissed him? Kissed him so passionately it hurt? Haha…not likely…

"Fine," she answered simply.

Mason rolled his eyes, "Sure." Tossing her phone at her he added, "Here, you left this in the sitting area and it rang a few hours ago. It keeps beeping so you better check your voicemail."

Grudgingly she sat up, set the pillow across her lap and checked the missed number. "Hmmm," Jude murmured, "I don't know the number." Dialing her voicemail, she waited patiently for the message to begin. The moment he said 'Hey' she knew who it was and her eyes widened. Why was he calling her? How did he get her number? More than likely Brendon, but still he called her! AHH!

Mason saw the look of surprise on her facial feature and quickly yanked the phone away and pressed it to his own ears to hear Tommy Quincy's voice on the other line mentioning how they should get together. A smirk danced across his lips and he inquired, "Well Miss Harrison, will you be taking the daring Mr. Quincy up on his offer?"

Jude shook her head harshly, confusing Mason.

"Why not? I thought everything went fine last night," He laughed, "besides, it's not like you did anything with him." 

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Jude looked away guiltily and hoarsely whispered, "We kissed."

Mason gawked at her for a moment before bursting out with excitement, "You didn't?" But Jude refused to say anything else. "YOU DID!" Mason exclaimed slack jawed and astonished, "Then you must have really had a fun time at the club!"

"Shut up!" Jude scowled, grabbing the nearest pillow to release the urge to scream bubbling up inside of her.

Mason continued to grin madly, "So are you gonna call him back?

Jude stared incredulously at him, "No."

"Why? You're both adults, besides it was just a kiss, no biggie."

"Yes…yes it is a VERY big biggie! I'm engaged Mase, engaged! AND Tommy has a girlfriend, possibly even wife! What I did was considered cheating. Even if it would have been a little kiss on the lips, it was cheating, but this was a full blown tongue on tongue action," Jude cried, her heart rate accelerating remembering his searing lips…

Mason chuckled and Jude threw the pillow in her hands at his head.

"Shut up! I'm seriously about to hyperventilate here Mase!"

"Jude, seriously, just calm down. Obviously Tommy wants to talk to you about it, besides you need to talk to him, not only about last night, but for what happened all those years ago," Mason explained calmly, his joking demeanor gone.

Jude knitted her eyebrows together confused, "What do you mean all those years ago?"

"Oh come on Jude, I know you. I know you never REALLY got over Tommy, never got closure because of his abrupt departure. I know how HURT you were…how hurt you still are. You NEED to talk to him about it, get things off your chest that have been bottled up for too long. " Mason soothing told her, placing a hand on hers.

Jude smiled sadly, knowing he was right. "I don't think I'm strong enough to face him Mase," She lowly said, speaking the truth while she fiddled with a loose string on her shirt. "Not only because things got a little out of hand last night, but because of our past. Whenever it comes to Tommy Quincy, I've never been strong enough. He lowers all my defenses, whether he means to or not. Even after all this time…"

"Then _pretend_. Jude, you have to do it and if you know you can't be, then pretend to just enough to get through a lunch with him. I believe in you, you need this for yourself. You'll never be really happy until you get to talk to Quincy…and NOT in a bar setting."

Nodding, Jude threw her arms around Mason's neck and hugged him tightly, "No wonder you're my best friend."


	11. That Same Old Story All Over Again

Jude fidgeted underneath the shaded table awaiting Tommy's presence. She had taken Mason's advice and called him back. Their conversation was short and straight to the point, and Tommy had seemed to be talking very low and hesitant, trying to hide the fact he was on the phone. He had jumped at the chance for lunch and recommended that they do it that day. It was a little after one and he was late…and Tommy was never late or anything.

Well, at least that's how he used to be.

Unconsciously, Jude sighed aloud as a dull ache penetrated her heart. It felt heavy at the sudden realization that even though he looked the same, he could be different. After all it had been three years since their last encounter and people change.

Taking herself for example…she knew she had changed, her music had changed, and… and her heart had changed in ways she couldn't explain.

A sad smile spread across her beautiful lips while she remembered many of Tommy's little quirks, things that irked her, ones she admired…and everything that had caused her to fall in love with him in the first place.

As much as she wanted to fight the onslaught of emotions overcoming her, she couldn't. Jude had tried and failed at repressing the feelings Tommy invoked from her, and she had come to the conclusion that she'd always be in love with him. No matter what. A part of her heart would always belong to him, and him alone. Over the past few years she had forced herself to believe otherwise, but just one glance at him last night and all of her inner lies were unveiled, the truth seeping through. Now, she knew this wasn't fair to Jamie and she did love him very much. Loved him enough to marry him, but Tommy…he was just something else.

He was her soul mate.

And Jude wouldn't have it any other way. Thinking back to the beginning, when they'd first met, who would of ever thought that Jude Harrison, punk rocker, would fall for Tommy Quincy? They shared a connection like she never felt before in her life, and knew she'd never feel it with anyone else.

But they couldn't be together, things just never worked for them, as much as she had wanted it too…and now they lead two completely different lives…lives that didn't involve each other. And Jude considered this a good thing, because although Tommy was her soul mate, they were no good for one another, and it hurt to admit. She had come to the conclusion before arriving that after this lunch, it would be best for both of them to stay out of touch. It was no use, in her eyes, to even suggest being friends because it just never seemed to work either. Her only comfort in this decision was she now knew that Tommy was fine and still alive. It was time for her to really let go of her past if she wanted to start a fresh, happy life with Jamie.

Sitting there all alone, Jude glanced at her cell phone, wondering where Tommy could be. He hadn't called to cancel. Maybe she had the wrong restaurant. But it couldn't be. The address was right and everything. Deciding to make the time worth while, she withdrew a notebook and pen from her large purse, lyrics to a new song suddenly coming to her.

Lost in her words and thoughts, Jude failed to notice the shadow now casting over the table. It wasn't until Tommy spoke, she realized he'd shown up.

"Hope I'm not disturbing anything," Tommy smiled, staring down at Jude while pulling out his seat.

Jude jumped at his smooth voice, and she looked up, meeting his dazzling smile. At once, she felt her heart flutter, remembering that smile…and those lips…

"Sorry I'm so late," Tommy started, sitting down, "New York traffic…"

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Jude remarked understanding, putting away the pen and notebook, "I knew there had to be a reason. Tommy Quincy could never be late."

Tommy nodded in appreciation and chuckled, "I was almost worried you wouldn't be here, were you working on a song."

"Yup," Jude grinned, she loved her music, "lyrics just popped into my head and I had to get them down."

Tommy shook his head, knowing all too well, "God, I miss working in the studio with you." He almost asked to see the lyrics, but held back remembering he had no right too. They were no longer partners and co-producers, they were no longer anything…

The smile on Jude's face faltered for a moment before she plastered it on again. It was too soon for her to have Tommy reminiscing with her, couldn't he wait until they ordered? Shaking her head lightly, she took a sip of her water, "Me too."

While she studied he menu, Tommy took the time to silently observe. He had a clear mind and the lighting was much better and he took in every bit of the way she looked in that moment. Wearing a light sundress, her hair down, and large white sunglasses on top of her head, he thought she looked so natural. And beautiful. Jude was most definitely a woman now, and she looked so much more desirable than he remembered.

Finally the waitress took their orders and Jude looked at Tommy. Breathing in deeply she bit her lip, "Sooo…"

"So," Tommy nodded, knowing where she was going with this, "about last night."

"I'm really sorry," Jude blurted out, "I didn't mean for any of that to happen. I was just so drunk, and…and…I don't know what came over me."

Tommy shook his head, a smile on his head, "Don't worry about it girl, it wasn't just your fault. I was very much a participant in it as well."

Jude laughed, and her cheeks reddened with embarrassment, "What a reunion huh? We don't see each other in years and the first thing we do is mack on each other." Not knowing what else to say, Tommy nodded his head in agreement and Jude continued, "Listen, I don't want to make this lunch awkward or anything, so how about we just forget about last night? That kiss…it never happened."

His eyes widened in shock at the familiar words, and he felt his heart rip just a little. Of course Tommy understood why Jude would possibly want to forget it, but still…he didn't just go around making out with anyone these days. "Okay."

Jude noted his hesitant response before pressing on with what was on her mind. Although she wished she'd never have to have this conversation, she wanted to know what happened, she needed too. "Tommy," she began, wondering how to go about this, "thanks for coming to lunch."

Knowing that wasn't what she initially wanted to say, he merely nodded, "No problem, I'm pretty sure there are things we need to talk about. And I'm the one who initially asked you here."

"Always one to cut straight to the point," Jude sighed, "It's just weird you know? Sitting here, with you. I almost had myself convinced I'd never see or hear from you again, and then I randomly run into you at a club? It's so…so surreal."

"Tell me about it," Tommy agreed, "but I'm glad it happened."

Jude stared at him for a moment, "Me too," she replied, then shook her head to rid the thoughts plaguing it, "but anyways we should start getting onto the real questions huh? Sooo…" Jude paused wondering if he'd actually answer her. She was going to start off with the big question. The one that haunted her everyday and every night. "Why did you leave?"


	12. If I Knew Then What I Know Now

Stunned, Tommy sat speechless for a moment, his mind swarming with numerous answers to the question. Finally, he cleared his throat and smirked, shaking his head lightly, "Starting off with the Big One, I was hoping we could save the deep stuff for last."

Jude chuckled softly, "Well you know me. I never was one to hold back. It just isn't my forte…"

"Agreed," Tommy grinned, leaning back in his chair to make himself more comfortable in the uncomfortable situation he found himself in. How was he supposed to answer that? "It was one of the many things I've always admired about you."

Eyeing him wearily, not wanting to skit around the issue at hand, for her hangover was still affecting her, Jude scoffed, "That may be so, but you are avoiding the question, Quincy."

Tommy lowered his head and removed the pair of aviators covering his brilliant blue eyes. Sighing deeply, he looked up again, locking eyes with the most beautiful set he'd ever seen, and as he gazed into her breathtaking baby blues, he softly mumbled, "You know exactly why."

Jude stared at him guffawed at the audacity he had to say those simple words and she harshly looked away, breaking the connection of their eyes. Images of her seventeenth birthday flashed in her mind, locked together in the Chrome Cat, creating a beautiful song…To many it would have seemed like an understanding answer, meant for only the other person, but to her, to Jude, it hurt to remember the last time he uttered the same exact line. "Don't," she warned, her voice hiding the anger rising, "don't give me that answer. I don't know why. And that lame, half ass remark answered nothing."

Tommy was if nothing, taken aback, by Jude's comment and he cleared his throat to continue, but Jude cut him off.

"God, Tommy, after all this time, after everything, that's what you have to say to me? 'You know exactly why.'" Jude mimicked, "Do you enjoy making me feel this way, remembering the things we used to have. That one little sentence sent me reeling four years into the past, to a time I would have given an arm and a leg just to get your attention, or spend time with you. If nothing came out of this lunch today, all I wanted was a little bit of truth from you, and you had to be all quirky…and so…so…so YOU!" Jude huffed, pushing her chair back while her voice rose. She instantly regretted coming to this lunch if this was how it was ending. It hadn't even been ten minutes…

Noticing her intent to leave, Tommy hastily moved forward and grabbed Jude's arm. He saw the flash of anger in her eyes, but he also felt the sparks that flew when he touched her…And he knew she felt it too…

"Don't go," Tommy whispered, "Please Jude, I'm sorry that I said that, just sit down. Please," he begged, not wanting their conversation to go this way. He needed to talk to her, for his sanity's sake. Tommy observed the hesitation in her posture before she resumed her seat after only a moment, and he sighed quietly in relief. "I'm sorry," he lowly said, meeting her eyes once again, "I just didn't know how to answer your question."

"The truth wouldn't hurt," Jude scoffed once again, throwing her arms across her chest.

Tommy nodded, leaning forward on the table, trying to emphasize his point, "I wasn't trying to be funny or anything. It's just…this is so hard for me Jude."

"And you think it isn't for me either Tommy?" Jude rolled her eyes, meeting his, sadness welling within her, "To run into you after all this time, specially after the way you took off. You think it was easy for me to walk into work one day and find that you'd left. Without a single goodbye. Nothing…at all…you just left," she could hear the slight quiver in her voice and Jude was trying her damnest from letting a single sign of weakness show. But it was just too hard. The walls she had built around her heart where Tom Quincy was concerned had already begun to crumble and there was no stopping it. "It's not like I planned on running into you again Quincy. It's not like I sat on the plane wondering 'Will I see Tommy in New York. Should I drunkenly make out with him. Maybe we could catch a lunch together…yadda yadda yadda…' No, I didn't Tommy. It just happened. And you want to know what the craziest part is? I'm glad it did, because I want answers. I NEED them, Tommy. Please. You're not the only one who's having a hard time with this. I just wanted to have a normal vacation, and I'm getting a little more than I bargained for, but if it helps me with closure that's been definitely sought after these past few years, I'll gladly pay the price."

"Jude," Tommy softly said, the way only he could, "Jude, it was so hard for me to walk away. To leave Toronto, my friends, family…to leave you…specially you…but I didn't have a choice."

Her eyes widened, and she shook her head sadly, "You always have a choice Tommy, always."

"No I didn't," he argued, "I couldn't go on living in a place that reminded me of you, working where I saw you everyday, running into you everywhere. I was going to wind up crazy."

"Gee, thanks, I didn't know I disgusted you so much you couldn't stand to be near me."

"That's not it and you know it. YOU are the one who fired me Jude, you. And…and I couldn't handle your rejection. I want…ed you sooo bad and when I had finally gotten you, you were gone in the blink of an eye. All because of my stupid mistakes. And I've beaten myself up over it every single fucking day. God Jude, you have no idea what you do to me," Tommy began to rant, saying everything on his mind, not realizing half of what was coming out of his mouth, "I never wanted to lose you, and I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. But I honestly thought it was best for both of us if I had left. I was giving us space…and time. All of our old wounds needed to be healed and we needed to get on with life without the constant reminder of our failed relationship hanging over our heads. We both needed it. You know it too. We both needed fresh starts. I couldn't say goodbye, because it would have made it all the more real for me at the time and I wasn't ready for it yet. Girl, I wouldn't have been able to leave if I tried to say goodbye. Because one look at you, and it would have been enough to convince me to stay."

A silent tear cascaded down Jude's cheek and she made no move to wipe it away. Instead, her watery gaze met Tommy's and although she received the answer to something she'd yearned for the last three years, it still hurt to hear. "You gave up on me Tommy."

Tommy felt his heart lower in his chest and his fingers itched to rub the tears off of her gentle, soft skin, but held back.

"I would have come around soon enough. All I needed was a little bit of time. Not some space, not three years, not different countries. I loved you Tommy, more than I'd ever loved anything in my entire life. And you gave up on me during a time when I was lost and confused. I was hurt. My heart shattered that night I saw you and Sadie kissing. You needed to understand where I was coming from. But still…as much as you hurt me that night, I would have forgiven you for it all, because that's just how strong my love for you was…but you weren't patient," the flood gate was broken and salty prisoners began spilling softly over Jude's dark eyelashes as she continued with her admission, "You weren't patient enough to see things through. And now…now here we are."

Finally, Tommy reached forward to grab Jude's hand, but she harshly yanked it back as if stung by it.

"I'm sorry," she cried, her eyes reflecting the pain in her heart. "I ha…I have to go. I'm sorry." Once again she pushed her seat back and quickly grabbed her purse. "Thanks for meeting me. I got what I came looking for," Jude's voice was choked with sobs, trying to keep her voice steady, "Said some things that I needed to get off of my chest. Have a good life Quincy."

Staring after her in disbelief, Tommy grabbed his wallet, threw some cash down on the table and stood to chase after Jude. It didn't take him long to catch up with her and he grabbed her by the wrist. Forcing her to spin around and face him, "Is that it?" He asked angrily.

"I don't have anything left to say," Jude swallowed, silently cursing herself for being such a girl and crying over a first love.

"What about what I have to say," Tommy pleaded, his voice becoming heavily laced with regret and pain.

Jude shook her head and her arm as well, trying to free it from Tommy's grip, but he wouldn't let go. "You lost that right when you walked out of my life."

"I didn…"

"You did, and here you are now. It's best for all if we leave what was behind us, what might have been in the back of our minds, and let go of whatever we had. This is my goodbye to you Tommy Quincy," Jude whispered hoarsely, stray tears still trekking down the already beaten paths on her cheeks.

"Don't say goodbye Jude, we can still be friends, we can still talk. I want you in my life Jude," Tommy began to panic. This lunch had gone a total 180 on him and instead of talking things through and working it out, she was leaving in tears, and he wasn't too far behind in that department.

Inhaling deeply, Jude let out a shaky breath. "I don't want you in mine Tommy. We can't be friends. It's never worked out for us before and it sure as hell wont work now. Just go living life how you've been these last few years. Be with that Ashley chick you were on the phone with last night. And just be happy…for me Tommy."

"And what about you Jude. Will you be happy?" Tommy questioned, slowly loosening the grip on her arm. His heart breaking with every one of her words.

Turning and looking away, Jude nodded, "One day. I'll work my way to it. Starting today. Because today, you gave me the closure I needed to start that journey. And for that I'll always thank you. We both lead totally different lives now Tommy, and we should keep it that way." Finally able to free her arm, she pulled away and met Tommy's gorgeous eyes once more. "I'll always hold a special place for you in my heart though. Don't you forget that Tommy Quincy, because I've never stopped loving you." Swiftly she leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss upon Tommy's lips and before he knew it she was walking away and rounding the corner.

"I love you too," Tommy whispered, staring brokenly at the spot Jude had been in mere seconds before.


	13. The Blonde and The Brunette

Jude's mind was racing, her whole body was overtaken with sobs as she walked aimlessly down a crowded New York street. She had no idea where she was and honestly, she didn't care. It wasn't until the phone in her purse went off, that Jude stopped in her tracks.

Flipping open her phone, she saw Jamie's picture flash on the screen and Jude felt more tears beginning to form. Hitting ignore, she stuffed the phone back into her oversized purse, and wiped furiously at the salty enemies tainting her cheeks, betraying her…

Trying to compose herself, Jude's mind wondered to her fiancee…her best friend…her confidant. Jamie Andrews, he was such a good guy. He didn't deserve having her cry over Tommy when she had him. He was perfect in all sense of the word, cute, funny, doting…but he just wasn't perfect for her.

"Stop thinking like that," Jude berated herself quietly and shook her head to rid the second guessing thoughts of her feelings for Jamie.

Jude glanced around and for the first time in the few blocks she'd walked away from the restaurant, and realized she had no idea where she was. If she had to guess though, she'd guess she had stumbled upon the business district. Running a hand through her hair, she frustratingly turned in a circle looking for anything she might recognize, but of course nothing looked familiar.

"Just my luck," Jude sighed, "Only I would be able to get myself lost in New York." Noticing a cab coming her way, she quickly walked towards the curb, but before she had the chance to stick her had out to stop the taxi, a leggy brunette stepped out of nowhere, pushed passed and beat her to the punch.

Mouth agape, Jude stared in anger and incredible irritation. All she wanted was to go back to her suite and sleep some more…and possibly dream of a drama-less life. One where her life went exactly how she would plan it…Yet, now she had to wait, who knew how long, for the next cab to come around. Ugh, why did her luck always seem to dwindle when she needed it most?

Ashley hastily hailed down the taxi and when she opened the door to get into the back seat, she looked over at the shocked young blonde staring in her direction that she had shoved gently out of the way. Noticing the obvious tear stains on the younger woman's face, Ashley cursed herself for being such a caring person and her heart fell. She was in a hurry to meet up with a client, and the one time she decided to be a rude New Yorker, it was to someone who obviously needed the taxi ride more.

Struggling with her voice of reason, she argued what she should do…Ashley could always share the cab, but then it could make her late to meet the client, but she also knew, that if she didn't share the taxi, she'd feel terribly guilty. Coming to a decision, she glanced towards the blonde, "Hey, wanna share?"

Jude was brought out of her many thoughts when she realized the brunette who had stolen her cab was speaking to her. Snapping her head in the direction of the open cab door, which the woman was standing in front of, she frowned, "Huh?"

Ashley bit her lip, antsy and in a hurry, "Do you want to share the cab with me?" She asked again, "You look like you wanna get out of here."

Not knowing what to say, Jude just nodded and walked towards the cab and the brunette woman smiled at her before disappearing into it. Jude quickly followed and muttered a quiet "Thanks."

Jude shut the door and the cabbie turned to them and asked, "Where to ladies?"

Glancing at the woman to her left, who had yet to say anything, Jude cleared her throat, "Um The Hilton please."

"Oh, pretty ritzy," the woman smiled before adding, "I'll be going to La Pierre please."

"Thanks again," Jude sadly smiled.

"No problem," Ashley waved her hand, suggesting it was nothing, "Like I said, you looked like you wanted to get out of there."

"I did," Jude laughed softly.

"I'm Ashley by the way."

Jude stuck out her hand, "I'm Jude."

"Sorry I pushed you out of the way back there, I'm normally not like that. But I'm in a bit of a hurry," Ashley felt the need to explain her actions from only a few moments ago as she shook hands with Jude.

"Understandable, at least you were willing to share," Jude nodded. She turned her head away and glanced out the window watching the people scurrying out on the street, in and out of buildings, all seemingly unaware of what was going on around them. All seemingly content. Why couldn't she be like that? Not caring about anything else. Or anyone.

Ashley noticed Jude's sad posture and saw her eyes once again filling up with tears. Digging in her purse, she grabbed the small Kleenex package, "Here, you might need this."

Eyeing the small white tissue, Jude slowly grabbed it, and wiped her eyes. "You're like my angel today. First the cab and then a Kleenex," Jude joked trying to suppress her thoughts from venturing off to someone she'd rather not think about.

"I try," Ashley shrugged, "Sooo…I know we don't want to know each other, but if you'd like, I'm willing to listen while we're stuck in the same cab for awhile."

"It's nothing. Just the typical drama that is my life," Jude rolled her eyes just as her cell phone began to go off again. Grabbing it out of her purse, she saw a number she had dialed earlier. Knowing it was Tommy, Jude quickly hit ignore, shut off her phone and threw it bag in the large purse.

Ashley studied the younger girl for a moment, "Ah, I get it. Men troubles."

"What gave me away?" Jude smiled pulling her compact out to examine the damage crying had done to her makeup. Puffy, red eyes. Smeared mascara. Just great. Sighing she threw the small makeup article back into her purse and slumped against the seat, shutting her eyes.

"The way you seemed lost back there, ignoring phone calls…I've been there myself a time or two," the older woman chuckled, getting more comfortable in her seat as well. "So what did he do? Forget an anniversary? Mine is pretty good at that one. Or a birthday. Or was it something big like cheating?"

Jude's heart felt heavy in her chest at Ashley's last word, because she felt as if she was cheating on Jamie. Shaking her head to rid those thoughts from her mind, she ran a hand through her tangled tresses, "No…no nothing like that. More like a big blast from the past."

"Ohhh," Ashley nodded, "An ex, or old flame. Let me guess. You ran into him, everything and every reason you fell for him came flooding back into your memory and your senses. Then you remembered all the good times with him, yet at the same time you remembered the bad. And you were just overwhelmed by it all."

"Something along those lines," Jude whispered glancing down at her left hand.

Following Jude's line of vision toward the shiny diamond, Ashley reached over and patted the younger girls hand, "Now I understand. You feel guilty too. You think you shouldn't have those feelings because there's someone else in your life now too?"

Jude didn't respond as the cab slowed down in front of a large, five star hotel. Opening up the door and stepping out, Jude turned to Ashley one last time, "Thanks again."

"No problem, and Jude…don't think about it too much. Maybe it was fate that had you run into your ex again. Listen, I can tell you're not from around here. What do you say we can get some dinner. You seem like a sweet girl, and you could bring whoever you want. I'll coerce my boyfriend into coming. I'd really like to talk to you some more about this whole man dilemma. You look really torn. Here's my card." Ashley rambled quickly, not knowing what it was that urged her to keep talking to the blonde.

Jude stood flabbergasted as she took the card, "Sure, dinner sounds great, I'll bring my friend who's here with me. Do you want me to call you later to get the specifics like when and where?"

"That sounds like a plan," Ashley smiled, feeling like she did a good deed.

"Bye," Jude waved shutting the cab door and looking at the business card in her hand.


	14. PartyFor One?

**Alrighty, Here is the next chapter of Beautifully Broken...I would just like to thank everyone who has commented and left feeback on this story, it really means a lot to me because writing is a passion of mine and to know that others enjoy it makes me happy! Lol...anywho keep up the wonderful feedback and here is the next chapter (Oh, and I think I've forgotten to add a Disclaimer on her along the way so here it is: I do not own the characters or Instant Star, I merely own the plot and idea of which this story is being told :D)**

**P.S I'm quite fond of this chapter for some odd reason...**

If anything, Tommy was extremely frustrated, laying on his king size bed. Here this girl…woman…whom he hadn't seen in years comes waltzing back in his life and flips his world upside down. And it was driving him crazy. Utterly insane. Of course that's what Jude always had done to him. It didn't matter how much time had passed. She was still Jude, and he was still Tommy

It had been hours since their lunch encounter, and Tommy was still left reeling at everything Jude had confessed. She still loved him, and there was no doubt in his mind he loved her still. Even after all the time apart. He only wished he could've told her at least once how he truly felt for her before he up and left Toronto…if she would have even heard him out. The short time when the two of them had truly and really been together, although it was in secret, had been the happiest time for Tommy. No one compared to Jude…not even Angie.

Sighing, he ran a hand through his chocolate locks and glanced at his wrist watch. Ashley was due home any minute now and she had called him a little while ago mumbling something about a dinner. Tommy was really in no mood to go anywhere. He wanted nothing more than to just sit alone in the dark and wallow in his own self pity and rethink how his life had lead him to where he was now.

Of course Ashley wouldn't allow it. She would make him go out with her come hell or high water. And that was one of the many things he liked about her. No wasn't an option for her. There were actually many things he liked about her, but the only problem was…she wasn't Jude.

"Stop," Tommy muttered to himself, squinting his eyes closed to keep the headache he felt coming at bay. "Stop comparing Ashley to Jude. That isn't fair to her."

And it was the truth. For as long as they'd been together he'd done it often. On many different occasions he found himself thinking how Jude would have looked in a dress Ashley wore, or how she might have sounded in the heat of the moment. Tommy always berated himself afterwards, but it was like he couldn't help it. Jude had been his world…she still was…too bad she didn't know that. Because like always he had been chicken shit and left when the going got tough.

Like Jude said, he'd given up on them without really giving them a chance.

He wasn't patient.

Damn him for all of his foolishness…

Jude opened the door to her suite and immediately made her way to the bed flopping down onto it. If she hadn't been wrapped in her own little world, she might have noticed things quite out of place and men shoes strewn in the sitting area, but she hadn't.

"Why do I let him do this to me?" Jude mumbled to herself.

Suddenly a figure jumped onto the bed next to her, "Who did what to you?"

Shrieking in fright and sitting straight up, Jude slapped the blonde man upside the head and then placed her hand over her heart, "Damn it Speid! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry Dude, I've been waiting to see you for hours. The guys and I flew in around noon." Speiderman shrugged as if being in her hotel room was nothing.

"Wait…what? You and the guys? What are you doing here?" Jude asked, confused, "and WHAT are you doing in my room?"

Speid smirked, "It just so happens that the bell boy is a huge fan of yours and I told him if he let me in, I'd snag a pair of your panties for him. I hope you weren't to fond of the pink thongs."

"SHUT UP!" Jude laughed, once again slapping Speid upside the head, "You did not."

"Maybe, maybe not. But anyways, we're hear because it turns out, MTV called Darius and they pretty much begged and pleaded the big cheese into you performing one concert while you're here. And you know D…he never says no to money." Falling backward onto the bed, Speid smugly added, "Besides, how could we let you enjoy the big ole city to yourself without us? Who else could incite such chaos."

"That's exactly what I was trying to avoid," Jude rolled her eyes, slumping her shoulders, "A concert? Really? Do I have to?"

Speid nodded, "What D wants, D gets."

Exhaling loudly, Jude stood and walked to her suitcase, "I thought I was on vacation. I knew there was going to be a catch."

"Don't whine too much. It's one concert at Times Square…for one night. You know you wanna do it," he explained, sitting back up, "what are you doing?"

"Yeah, I guess," she shrugged, then tossed her bag of makeup at him, "I'm going to dinner tonight what does it look like I'm doing?"

"Dinner with who? I am so there," Speiderman perked up, rubbing his stomach for emphasis, "I'm starved, the last time I ate was two hours ago!"

Jude chuckled, "Oh, poor baby. It's with some lady I met. I don't know, she seemed nice enough, and it might be nice to go out to dinner on the town. Last night Mason and I hit up good old faithful Denny's."

Nodding with approval, Speid grinned, "Those grand slams are something else. Anyways, can I go? Maybe I could get the chance to hook up with a hot chick."

"No!" Jude screeched, throwing a shoe at him he was barely able to dodge, "Besides she has a boyfriend. Or at least that's what she said in the cab. What about Kyle, Wally, and Mase? I can't walk into a nice restaurant with a horde of men."

"Oh, come on. It's just a friendly gathering. I promise we'll all be perfect angels for you Jude," Speid lowered his voice and batted his lashes horrendously wrong, "Please."

Giggling at the face he was making and grabbing her cell phone, she nodded. "Okay, I'm calling her to see if she won't mind. You better keep your promise Speid. Just remember I know many of your deepest darkest secrets."

"Oooh, I'm so scared Harrison."

"Okay, she said they'd be here already," Jude called over her shoulder at the guys following her into the restaurant. Somewhere behind her she heard 'ooooh fancy' and she shook her heard, smiling happily. It was actually nice to have the guys with her because she had had no time to fret and worry over what had happened earlier that day with a one Tommy Quincy, and for that she would always be grateful. Plus, she loved hanging out with her guys. Yes they were her guys. No matter what. And at that thought she smiled widely.

Upon entering the high class building they followed the host immediately to a large table, almost cut off from the rest of the bistro. Jude immediately recognized Ashley and waved .

Ashley saw the group and stood to greet them, "Hi! It's good to see you again Jude. Thanks so much for taking me up on my offer. Hello guys, I'm Ashley." She introduced herself, shaking all of their hands.

All the men introduced themselves before taking a seat at the round table. Take a spot next to Ashley, Jude looked to the empty seat and inquired, "Didn't you say your boyfriend would be joining us?"

"He will be," Ashley nodded, "he called me right before you walked in, he was parking his viper. He should be here any minute now," she rolled her eyes before adding, "that man, I swear. Sometimes I think he loves that car more than me."

The smile on Jude's face diminished in size slightly, the memory of a very vivid blue viper and its proud owner suddenly flashing through her mind, "Yeah," she spoke lowly, "sounds like someone I used to know. Boys and their toys." Looking around the table, Jude noticed all of the guys engrossed in the bread sticks already supplied for them on the table.

Ashley nodded in understanding and before she had the chance to say anything else her eyes focused on the entry and her face lit up in a blinding smile, "There he is."

Jude followed Ashley's line of sight and her eyes widened at the man walking towards her, obviously unaware of who he was about to meet with. Next to her, she heard harsh coughing (Speid might have been choking on his bread stick, eh, oh well) and then felt a sharp nudge in her ribs.

"Holy shit! Lord Squinty Frown," Speid stated in a shocked, almost horrified whisper in Jude's ear.

Her eyes still trained on Tommy, Jude only nodded slowly and watched as his demeanor drastically changed recognizing all the familiar faces surrounding the tables…his stride almost coming to a complete halt.

Ashley, unaware of the sudden quiet that had overtaken the table, stood once again to give her boyfriend a loving hug and kiss. Grabbing his hand, she led Tom to the table. Still grinning she took her seat and finally noticed all the wide eyes and questioning stares pointed mainly tpward Tom. Clearing her throat she started, "This is Tom…"

"Lil Fucking Tommy Q," Kyle blurted loudly, earning him a swift kick in the shin from Wally and a stern glare from Tommy. "Sorry, man," Kyle winced lowly speaking to all at the table except Ashley and Tom, "just surprised is all."

Mason rolled his eyes and cast a worried glance Jude's way, aware of the sudden paleness in her skin color the tense posture. This was not good. Not good at all.

"Fans?" Ashley laughed, curious and surprised Tom hadn't put the kid in place calling him the dreaded nickname.

There were a few strangled laughs and not-so-subtle coughs to cover them up. "Psh, hardly," Wally smirked, shaking his head. Someone was feeling ballsy…

"I'm assuming you know each other already, then?" Ashley inquired taking in the awkward silence.

"Yeah, we've met," Jude lowly said, her voice barely audible, avoiding Tommy's eyes.

"A long time ago," Tommy added not believing this was actually happening. Was it not only 6 hours ago Jude had told him she never wanted to see him again, yet here she was. Sitting next to his girlfriend, planning on having dinner with him.

This had to be some sick joke.

But it wasn't, and Tommy was stuck to endure the stares from his previous artists…all five of them, and boy did he notice every single one of them. Turning his attention toward Ashley, he croaked, "Nice restaurant choice babe."

Ashley shrugged, still curious and very intrigued in the history this table of strangers held with her boyfriend of two years. "How do you know each other, if you don't mind me asking." Ashley smiled once again, taking in all of the looks of her guests.

"It's nothing really," Jude said strongly and loudly, "We all used to work in the same building, years ago in Canada. Tommy was a producer there."

Studying the younger girl as she spoke, Ashley simply grinned taking in every facial expression and the tone of her voice. There was something else there. There was a different history…a different story…maybe something complicated. Why was everyone so quiet and uncomfortable all of a sudden. Glancing at Tommy, she observed the way he was staring intently at the blonde. And there was something in his eyes she had never seen before…

What was going on?

Jude sat taking in deep breaths, silently panicking on the inside. Why? Why? WHY? Of all the women to meet in New York, of the millions crammed into such a tiny dot on a map, how in the hell did she run into Tommy's girlfriend. Life was cruel and unjust to her sometimes. 'It's okay, you can do this Jude. Just forget Tommy is sitting a few feet away from you and have an enjoyable dinner. Be strong. Don't be immature. Get through this dinner and go back to hotel and get a good night's rest' Jude thought to herself. She could feel those alluring eyes of his on her, but she refused, REFUSED, to give in. Everything was fine. Perfect. Just perfect.

"What can I get you to drink?" The waitress couldn't have arrived at a better time for anyone at the table.

Everyone voiced their drink orders, except for Jude, who had still been lost in her thoughts, but Tommy's strong, deep voice snapped her out of it when she heard him order for her.

"Her favorite is an ice tea, with little ice and four slices of lemon," Tommy answered the server nonchalantly, as if he ordering for Jude was a norm of his and he did it often.

Jude gawked, finally looking at Tommy. "You remembered?" She asked in astonishment, not believing he remembered her favorite drink and how she liked it. It was something so small. Not even her dad could ever remember. Suddenly a small smile flickered across her lips.

His eyes met hers and he returned the grin. "Of course," he softly replied, locking gazes with her.

Someone's throat clearing broke their connection and Jude quickly looked away. Okay…on second thought everything was NOT perfect. She could feel the butterflies already multiplying and the longing that could only be associated with Quincy pulsing through her entire being. The yearning to be near him and listen to his soothing voice was raging and she had only been near him for ten minutes. What the hell was wrong with her. Hadn't she just told him she never wanted to see him? That he couldn't be apart of her life? Ugh!

"What was that Tom?" Ashley asked with a raised eyebrow, a sudden contemptness in her voice.

Jude quickly looked at her and silently cursed herself. She had gazed into this woman's boyfriend's eyes only seconds ago. Right in front of her.

Okay, she had to get out of there.

Like right now.

For a fleeting a moment, Jude realized this would be the third outing she would find herself hastily escaping from in as little as two days.

Life was funny like that. Tommy had always been the one to run in a sticky situation. And yet, here Jude was, getting ready to jam because she didn't want to deal with it. She did learn from the master after all.

"You know what," Jude said suddenly to everyone, "I totally forgot I was supposed to call Darius. Tonight. And, um…"

"Set up the concert," Speid added, knowing what Jude was doing and figured he'd be a good friend and bail her out. "Yeah I totally forgot about it too, Dude."

"Exactly," Jude smiled, relieved for once. Standing abruptly she grabbed her hand bag and looked at Ashley. "I'm really sorry, but my boss is such a stiffler and if I don't get this taken care of I'm sure he'd never be as kind as to give me another vacation. It was nice to meet you." Walking backwards, she threw her head towards the entry, "I'll be going now. You guys can stay, Bye again Ashley," pausing a moment she looked at Tommy, his eyes filled with sorrow, pleading her to just stay. How she wished she could, "Tommy…it was…uh, um, yeah I gotta go."

Still walking backward and still staring into Tommy's eyes, Jude bumped into another dining table harshly and quickly turned the right way around. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and she hurried out of the quaint restaurant.

Mason was the next to stand, "We should probably get going then too. Jude might need our help…come on guys."

The boys of SME grumbled. "But food," Wally muttered with disappointment. They too stood, said their goodbyes and made their way outside.

Ashley was silent, trying to comprehend and understand what just happened and turned to talk to Tommy and realized he was still staring at the door where Jude had exited a few moment earlier. "Tom?"

He shook his head and looked at Ashley, not noticing her questioning demeanor, grabbed his wallet and took out a few bills. Handing them to her, he lied, "Hey actually they just reminded me I was supposed to set up the studio for a new artist. I have to go."

"But…" Ashley started, becoming irritated.

"Bye," was all Tommy muttered, hastily standing and leaving. No explanation really, no kiss, no nothing. Just 'Bye.'

"So that wasn't quite the dinner experience I was hoping for" Ashley sighed to herself, standing from the now abandoned table. Shaking her head in disappointment, she straightened the elegant black dress adorned on her small frame and shyly looked around trying to keep the tears of heart break at bay. Biting her lip she silently cursed herself. She was overreacting. It was just coincidence they left at the same time. It was just coincidence they knew each other...But the way he looked at her...that was a way Tommy NEVER looked at Ashley, and that, that was no coincidence.

Tommy rushed outside and found all of the Toronto friends getting into a cab and he quickly hailed down one of his own. Slamming the door shut, he threw a fifty dollar bill at the driver, "Follow that cab right there. Thanks man."

Fifteen minutes. That's how long it took them to get to a large, expensive hotel. That's how long Tommy had to mull things over in his head…to decide what he was going to say to her. Getting out of the taxi, he stealthily followed all of them into the hotel and down a few corridors. Staying a safe distance back, he noticed how defeated Jude looked and the worried glances the men around her were throwing before going into their own rooms, leaving Jude alone in the corridor.

She was just about to enter her room when Tommy shouted her name. She froze instantly at his voice and he jogged up to her.

Turning around slowly, they were only a few feet away and the electricity between them at an all time high.

"What are you doing here," Jude tiredly breathed, intrigued with his appearance before her.

"I'm here for you."

Knitting her eyes in confusion, she asked, "What?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Tommy, we already…"

"No," He interrupted, moving closer. That magnetic pull that was Jude Harrison pulling him in. He knew it was wrong. They both had someone else, but he just had to be near her. He'd missed it so much and he planned on being as close as possible as he could. "We didn't talk. There were some things I still need to tell you. Things I never got the chance to before"

Rubbing her forehead in exhaustion, Jude vigorously shook her head, trying to clear it. It wasn't helping with Tommy being so close. Why couldn't he back up just a little? "Maybe it's better to leave some things left unsaid."

"It's never better that way," Tommy's voice was now lower, and he was now close enough to capture her plump red lips with his own.

Jude's eyes fluttered shut. His intoxicating smell overwhelming her. What was he doing? Had she not made herself clear enough this morning. She had to think straight. She had to get him away.

"Tom…"

Once again he interrupted what she was saying…only this time it was with a kiss. It took Jude only a second to give into the softness of his lips and the familiarity of the feeling she got only from kissing Tommy. It only lasted a moment…one beautiful, gentle moment…before Jude pulled away. Tommy rested his forehead against hers and they both breathed deeply. "I love you," he whispered, both of their eyes closed in content.

At his declaration, Jude's eyes snapped open and she harshly pulled away from Tommy. "No, you don't." She'd always wanted to hear those words uttered from his mouth, meant only for her. But not like this. Not standing in a hotel doorway, not when she was trying to get over him. Not when she wanted so desperately to be with him…but knew it couldn't happen for many obvious reasons.

Tommy stared at her in bewilderment. "Yes, I do."

"You have a girlfriend."

"This I know. And I've been thinking about it all night. She's not you Jude. She could never be you."

"I have a fiancee. Tommy…we can't…I can't. We haven't even had a civil conversation since we've ran into each other. What did you expect? I'd run into your arms because you told me you loved me?" Jude exasperatedly sighed, her eyes beginning to water. "I just can't do that. I'm sorry." Hurriedly walking into her room she looked back at his dejected form quickly once more before slamming the door shut .

Tommy stared blankly at the door, breathing in deeply he spoke loudly, "Putting a door between us isn't going to change anything Jude. I know you still feel it too. Everything you feel when we are close. I feel it to…I've always felt it. I'm sorry. I know you're tired of hearing it. But what I'm sorry for most is that I never got to tell you I loved you before I left Toronto. Because I did love you back then, and I still do. That's never, EVER, going to change. I just wanted you to know that. And I know you didn't want me in your life. But I need to be in it. I need you. Jude," Tommy sighed backing away and touched the door with his hand gently, "I do honestly love you. Take that confession and do with it what you want. Please call me." And with that Tom Quincy left the hotel.

Jude had heard everything said through the door and watched Tommy walk away through her peep hole. It wasn't until she was completely sure he was gone that she broke down. "Stop, please just stop doing this to me," Jude cried pounding on the door to her hotel room in anger and frustration. Leaning against it heavily, she slowly slid down the wooden barrier, her tears mingling with the mascara now smudged on her cheek. Tears. More Tears. Damn him.

Lying there on the floor in front of the door almost an hour later, Jude decided to put these disarray of emotions to good use. It was time to write a song. Maybe it would help put things in perspective.

So she scribbled and she wrote, lyrics that had been bothering her all day were finally freed and Jude worked diligently until it was perfect. After hours and an all nighter, Jude rubbed her eyes tiredly and looked at her finished product. "You don't know what you do to me Quincy," She mused to herself, "always were the best inspiration."


End file.
